INTERNATIONAL DIPLOMACY:

WASHINGTON: US President Donald Trump has threatened to kill one of Australia’s leading local government figureheads if that community leader does not agree to relinquish all legal rights to his locality’s place names.

The pollie in the President’s sights? Mayor Tom Tate. And his local area? Gold Coast City in southern Queensland.

“Isn’t The Gold Coast just the perfect place name,” President Trump said over and over again in a rambling speech of over an hour during which he also decried the mass deaths of whales around the world because of wind farms and fully endorsed Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jnr’s claim that a half glass of used sump oil a day kept throat and thyroid cancers at bay.

But the main non-focus of his speech was the demand that Mayor Tate and his council or any other authority in Australia with IP rights to hand over those rights to the words The Gold Coast and Gold Coast City.

“Aren’t they perfect words to describe my family’s plans for what used to be the Palestinian Gaza Strip? Gold Coast City would be in the north of The Gold Coast and right now Israel is making that area shovel ready for the golden age planned!

“And a magical golden place it will be! All of our high rise kibbutz communities will be clad in gold and all of my golf courses will have gold-coloured sand traps. Major roads would also be paved in gold.”

Trump did not give a handover for the place names: nor did he suggest Tate’s life was in immediate danger.

“There are lots of marinas on the Golf Coast and many of those boats moored there would have drugs on them.

“I might soften up Tate first with what I believe is now called in chess the Venezuelan Gambit.”

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