Anyone out there remember the time Ivan Milat received two standing ovations for his services to Belanglo State Forest tourism?

Or the time Richard Speck got his two standing ovations for his contribution to nursing education in Chicago way back when?

No? Neither can I.

Joe Hockey for his services to the Australian car-making industry? Michaelia Cash for her tireless promotion of the dying language of bogun screech? Malcolm Turnbull for reminding us so often of all the fizzes that disappointed us on Guy Fawkes Night as kids, No, no and no?

And yet just the other day we witnessed two standing ovations for a man who surely must be the perfectly blended equal of the serial killers and Liberal heavyweights mentioned above. Yes, the applause is still fading away at the LNP Queensland state conference for the man who single-handedly killed off the Liberals and Nationals’ federal prospects for probably a generation or more.

Yes, Peter Dutton, we hope you enjoyed your two bows and modest blushes before a still-loyal if masochistic audience on Friday.

It would appear they still hold you in high esteem for the Liberal right-to-govern arrogance you displayed on the hustings back in April, the undying belief that following the Trump playbook would see apologetic Australian voters realising their very infrequent mistake of putting Labor in power and you’d be a shoo-in with some pretty shitty policies that you’d cost after the election. Two powerful standing ovations for doing all that and reducing the Liberals to a hopeless, hapless, rump with hardly a seat in our major cities. Some people are easily pleased.

But if that’s what the Queensland LNP sees as a record of achievement to be lauded and applauded, so be it.

Since Friday the conference has ditched net zero by 2050 and stuck with their nuclear-power-plant plans.

My big tip for the LNP state conference three years hence? Three standings ovulations for Ssussan Ley or whomever has led the Liberals to an election drubbing even worse than this year’s; a result that marks the end of its time as a serious national political force, with Ming Menzies spinning in his Melbourne grave one last time.

Don Gordon-Brown

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