The Brisbane Bolts club admits it faces an uphill battle to reach the demi-finals of this year’s squawker round if a four-week ban on one of its star midline assault groupers is allowed to stand.

The club’s general manager, Terry Verandah, has lashed out at the JDG’s judiciary panel following a Friday night meeting at which it imposed the ban on Dick “Big Dick” Dikbig (main picture) for failing to use a homophobic slur against an unnamed Perth Prostates’ player in Wednesday’s mid-week demi-semi quarter mozley.

Mr Verandah said the club would be challenging the decision.

After the meeting the JDG’s judiciary panel chair, Sir Lillian Pansy, (below) outlined the reasons for the ruling, saying Dikbig had failed to meet the standards expected of players at the elite level.

“Dick Dikbig has let down himself, his club, JDG fans, and the game as a whole and we feel the penalty should send a signal to all players,” Sir Lillian said.

“He along with all other JDG players in first tranche franchises should know what is expected of them both on and off the field.

“Failure to use a homophobic slur during Wednesday’s match in Perth is an offence we take very seriously at the JDG and we hope the penalty sends a signal to all players.”

Sir Lillian said the JDG judiciary panel was ultimately unmoved by arguments put by Dikbig’s lawyer Dicky Shearman (right) in his defence at the hearing.

“Through his counsel, Dikbig cited his heavy cocaine and alcohol use both before and during Wednesday’s match, and his arrest for high-range drink driving inside the foyer of the Perth casino after the match as valid reasons why he had failed to meet the standards expected of elite players, but the judiciary panel members dismissed that line of defence.

“After all, if we accept that as an excuse by one player we’d never slot anyone for any offence,” Sir Lillian explained. “But the length of the suspension would have been much longer if Dikbig had not been clearly shattered by the recent deaths of two sons, nine and seven, during JDG junior-level clashes.”

When tracked down packing boxes of fudge and cartons of cheap imported unlabelled cigarettes into his car outside a recently firebombed illegal tobacconist shop, one of several he owns in Brisbane, Mr Verandah said the Bolts reserved the right to challenge the JDG ruling to protect its prospects leading into 2025’s final quirn.

“I know where these judiciary members live and where their kids go to pre-school,” Mr Verandah screamed at media representatives.

“If the JDG wants Dikbig to play by the rules, I’ll make sure he does so they had better watch out.

“I know every syllable of the JDG’s code for player behaviour, especially the chapter on LGBCUNT+ language and I’ll be making sure Dikbig does too.”

Mr Verandah then produced an unregistered sawn-off shotgun from his vehicle and aimed it at reporters.

“Now all of you low-life weeping ruptured rat bowels can stand back and let me get on my way. After all, these fags aren’t going to suck themselves,” he yelled before reversing away at speed.

When asked to comment on Dick Dikbig’s behaviour, head coach of The Bolts, Jack Saunders, said: “It was just a bit of hi-jinks – just some good natured horseplay.”

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