INTERNAL DIVISIONS AT BUG HQ:

After more than a week of acrimony among this publication’s editorial staff – when hurtful words and empty Bundaberg Rum bottles were hurled about – they are no closer to resolving whether Australia’s oldest and best satire site needs a new award for journalism non-excellence.

Before we explain, the person responsible for all this ruckus is highly respected former metro newspapers columnist Terry Sweetman who posted on X recently (at top and below).

Some of The Bug‘s staff worked with Sweetman in an earlier life and seeing they had never, ever, heard him swear, they were intrigued to know the source of his “Approval my arse!” outburst.

And here it is. An SMH article by Paul Sakkal back on August 8.

Okay, any reasonable person – and all you BUGgers out there are! can see why Sweetman wasss so fired up.

As it turned out, all of The Bug crew – writers, media award judges, production subs and artists – were in the chairman’s lounge having morning rum when this story first emerged and how the infighting began.

One of our Media Glass House award judges immediately declared Sakall’s piece would be shoo-in for August Arse-Licker trophy glory.

“Bullshit,” our senior night editor spat back,” the Arse-Licker award goes to a brown-nosing journo giving their corporate bosses a right-royal rimming. This goes way beyond that level of coital cleansing and tongue ringmastery.”

“Agreed,” said a copy boy who didn’t know he wasn’t allowed to speak, “this is a journo sucking up big time not just to someone like Rupert Murdoch but a whole country!”

“Led by an absolute cunt at that!” added a junior sports reporter. “This is more like Australia seeding (sic) its sovereignty to another country. In a straight reporting piece – not commentary – Sakkal has used his intro for fuck’s sake to state Australia needs the Orange Oaf’s approval before making a decision in its own interest.”

Sadly the argument has raged ever since despite common ground finally being reached mid-week that Sakkal’s effort needed to be recognised with an award more fitting than arse-licker glory. The fight is now evenly split between the Bug staffers; those who want the trophy named the AUKUS Loss of Sovereignty Award and those who favour The Scott Morrison Loss of Sovereignty Award.

EDITOR’S FOOTNOTE: The Bug accepts the slim possibility that Sakkal never used the words “without seeking approval from US president Donald Trump”. They may have been inserted by Matthew Knott doing a rare casual subbing shift.

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