SYDNEY: NSW Health Minister, Ryan Park, has warned Sydney residents of a “potentially prolonged” shortage of ambulances across the city.

“If possible residents should avoid calling an ambulance until we can clear yet another outbreak of explosive diarrhoea among Righters at the head offices of News Crap Australia in Holt Street at Surry Hills,” Mr Park said. (main picture)

“This incident began yesterday soon after Prime Minister Anthony Albanese announced that Australia would recognise a Palestinian state at the UN in September.

“It has continued unabated with the entire Righting staff of The Australian newspaper continuously voiding their bowels and soiling the entire newsroom, causing the excess faeces to spill out of windows into Holt Street.

“This latest incident follows similar outbreaks of explosive diarrhoea at Holt Street, with the most recent being at the time of the huge pro-Palestine march across our Harbour Bridge.

“I cannot say at this stage when ambulance services in the city might return to normal and it may well go on until at least September and possibly well beyond that,” he said.

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CANBERRA: Israel’s ambassador to Australia, Amir Maimon, has issued a statement clarifying comments he made yesterday in the wake of the Albanese Government’s recognition of a Palestinian state.

“When I stated in my remarks on Monday that the recognition ‘hands victory to those who oppose coexistence’ I was referencing Hamas not Israel,” he said.

“But just to be perfectly clear, Israel also opposes coexistence with the Palestinians. I hope that clears things up,” the ambassador said.

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TEL AVIV: Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has moved to give assurances to foreign journalists covering the Gaza genocide following the murder by the Israeli Defence Force (IDF) of a number of journalists and support staff of the Qatar-based Al Jazeera news network.

In personal handwritten notes (below) Mr Netanyahu outlined his government’s policy on the treatment of foreign media representatives.

“I recognise the need to get this message to foreign journalists covering Gaza as quickly as possible, so I have asked the IDF to help in that regard,” he said.

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