FROM THE EDITOR:
Australia’s oldest and most offensive satire organ is at great risk of closure following threats of legal action from a sit-down comic who garners most laughs in his persona as a mainstream media personality.
Making money has never been of any interest to those who launched The Bug in 1989 – it’s why we never have – and we simply won’t survive any successful challenge that results in a monetary penalty of even the smallest amounts.
It’s why we are pleading with the lawyers acting for Rowan Dean to withdraw their threatened action immediately.
That’s right. The comic whose favourite character is as a Sky News Australia host (pictured, far, far right) is, through his team of top-shelf KCs, pressing the argument that The Bug’s Media Glass House Arse-Licker Award for July should not have gone to Cameron Stewart (link at bottom).
Their core argument appears to be that our decision not to select Dean instead “has caused our client great personal distress, grave damage to his professional standing and has therefore seriously affected his promotion prospects” at the News Corp Australia “media” platform.
Dean’s legal team has made it clear they will be seeking damages of several million dollars if we do not rescind Stewart’s win and award the Arse-Licker Award to our client “for a body of work during July that may never be surpassed”.
We have tried to reason with Dean’s silks that there is no honour to be had in “winning” any of our monthly arse-lick gongs. It’s why over the years, we have referred to the ringmastery of nominees and eventual winners, their commendable cloacal cleaning frenzies, how they are all rimming with confidence and the fact that almost every award over the distance has meant Rupert Murdoch rarely has needed to use dunny paper on his scrawny now nonagenarian, money-hungry, ethics-free, criminally inclined arse.
Dean’s team responded with: “Our client understands all that which is why he remains deeply hurt and cannot comprehend why his mantelpiece is not overflowing with these monthly trophies.”
Sadly, they have not responded positively to our statement that Dean has been a very close runner-up over many months – which is quite impressive seeing he only pretends to be a MSM journo anyway – or our suggestion that his early work in August has him looking pretty unbackable as our coital champion at month’s rear end, and that any such a decision by our judging panel will not have been influenced in any way, shape or form by this vexatious and groundless legal try-on of theirs.
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