Penny Wong faces dismissal from the Albanese government cabinet after being caught out attempting a lucrative side hustle as the star of a multi-million dollar commercial advertising campaign.  

The Bug‘s Canberra press-gallery members can report that Prime Minister Anthony Albanese is “absolutely livid” that Wong has already shot some footage with the creative agency for Specsavers.

The PM is expected to hold a media call here soon to discuss Wong’s future, after he finishes practising how to say “deshision” properly.

A source in the Foreign Minister’s office defended Wong, saying the minister was just trying to thank Specsavers after the national eye-care chain upgraded her glasses prescription earlier this week. 

“The minister now rues the fact that she had been unable to see clearly what has been happening in Gaza these past two years. 

“But now that she’s been able to clearly see the new footage that has emerged of a razed Gaza Strip over recent days she felt engaged enough to do that presser yesterday calling for a Palestinian state to be declared while there was still a Palestine to so declare. 

“What we have been unable to do, though, is to convince the minister that the total destruction of Gaza has been clearly obvious from just about any footage taken over the past two years. This week’s footage was nothing new, really.

“She has never responded positively to our advice to her that dropping the equivalent of almost 10 Hiroshima atomic bombs on something the size of Canberra has ever had anything to do with defeating a rag-tag underarmed and largely underground Hamas.

“At least she can now read all the written advice we have provided over the duration.

“So that’s her eyesight sorted. And almost everyone in this office is now hoping she might also go to Hearing Australia.

“Nothing would please us more than to never, ever, hear her fucking sprout again that Israel has the right to defend itself.”

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