Today I can report exclusively on some big news out of Canberra on Monday that followed Sunday night’s telecast of the Logie Awards.

My sources within the Albanese Government tell me it is drafting a new Logie Awards Broadcasting Bill 2025 that if passed will see major changes to the awards presentation event from 2026 onwards.

“We have bowed to viewer pressure and are drawing up a Bill that will make for a much better Logies broadcast from 2026 onwards,” a source confided in me.

“For starters the new law will outlaw banter between presenters of individual award categories.

“Anyone who saw the 2025 Logies on Network Seven will know only too well how awkwardly bad and unfunny the supposedly humorous interactions were between the ‘stars’ called on stage to present each award during the night.”

I’m told that from next year’s Logies the new law will impose an outright ban any such banter, with presenters merely reading out the finalists before announcing the winner, then leaving the stage. The new law will also require the Seven Network or any future host broadcaster to show on screen the identity of the “stars” presenting the awards to avoid the current situation where most viewers at home ask themselves: “Who the fuck is that?”

My government sources say this will make for a better awards show and also cut down the total running time to about 15 minutes.

“This initiative is perfectly in line with the Albanese Government’s push for greater productivity in our economy,” one very senior government insider told me.

Another innovation to be delivered by the new law will be a widening of award categories.

This follows criticisms by one of News Crap Australia’s prominent Righters and full-time ABC monitor, Gerard Henderson, who has criticised the “woke lefty judges” who pick the major award winners.

“It’s clear to me that there is a left-wing bias to the Logies,” Mr Henderson told me in a brief break from listening for political bias in a replay of a recent episode of ABC Radio National’s  The Music Show featuring Latvian folk dance music. (below)

“The evidence is clear. Nobody from the Right side of politics, and by that I mean the right side, ever gets nominated for, let alone wins, a Logie.”

Henderson’s view was echoed on the red carpet at Sunday night’s Logie Awards ceremony by News Crap Australia’s James Morrow (far right at left in main picture) and Liberal Party federal frontbencher Senator Michaelia Cash (far right at right in main picture).

“I see a definite need for a special category for Best Comedy Righting by a Sky News ‘after dark’ Commentator,” Morrow confided in me . “And that’s not just because I think I may have a good shot at taking out that award, although Rowan Dean would give me a run for my money.”

Senator Cash agreed, adding that she would seek to amend the new government Bill by adding a Logie category for Best Mindless Screeching Far Right Opposition Frontbencher.

“I suggest that category not just because I think I may win the Logie but because I recognise that the federal opposition needs to win something – anything really – in the next decade,” she told me.

Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!

Follow The Bug Online on WordPress.com