Judges for the The Bug’s uncoveted Media Glass House Arselicker of the Month for July have settled on a winner whose tongue has a distinctly international flavour.

After a relatively short meeting to consider the July shortlist, the judging panel named The Australian’s Cameron Stewart for one specific article in his body of work covering the Israel-Gaza war. (main picture)

“Stewart as chief international correspondent was just one of many Righters at The Australian we considered for the July gong,” said one of the judges on condition of anonymity.

“In his stories and commentary pieces on Gaza he has managed to rim the nonagenarian knothole of both the US-based owner of the national broadshit, Rupert Murdoch, as well as the kosher coit of Israel’s Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.

“Despite his occasional – very fucking occasional – nods to Israel’s shortcomings, such as deliberately starving innocent civilians and Israel’s loss of standing among the international community for its bloodthirsty tactics in Gaza and elsewhere, Cameron Stewart has managed to pump out material perfectly in line with The Oz’s campaign to deliberately focus on antisemitism in Australia rather than ethnic cleansing in Gaza and to repeatedly cite the word ‘Hamas’ as justification for genocidal deeds done entirely by Israel alone.

“In that regard he is no different to others at the national broadshit which really should change its name and masthead to The Netanyhau Times.

“But he shot ahead in our deliberations and rapidly climbed our shortlist to reach the top when we looked at one of his recent ‘comment’ pieces. (below)

“What set this 27 July opinion piece apart was Stewart’s ability to meet one of Rupert’s other KPIs – never stop attacking the Labor Party anywhere at anytime and regardless of the facts.

“Despite being a comment piece, Stewart started with a lead paragraph that would have warmed the non-existent hearts of both Rupert and Bibi. (below)

“You see what he did there? Commenting on the PM’s refusal to immediately join what was then just France in recognising a Palestinian state, Stewart said Albo was sensibly – in The Oz‘s eyes of course – defying ‘his party’s anti-Israel lobby’.

“Now all of my fellow judges and our army of MGH analysts cling to the old-fashioned belief that Righters can express their opinions but, like anyone’s opinion, their Rightings need to be based in fact.

“The fact is that those in Labor who may differ from Albo on the Palestine recognition issue are not necessarily ‘anti-Israel’. More accurately they are anti-genocide or anti-ethnic cleansing, or anti any nation who consistently and recklessly ignores international law and the rules of war and keeps killing innocent men, women, and children even those armed only with empty buckets at food aid stations.

“But Cameron Stewart slipped in a few words stating as fact that anyone who opposes those inhumane horrors is ‘anti-Israel’.

“It was a small flourish in the larger scheme of issues we as judges need to consider when awarding the Janet Albrechtsen Perpetual Trophy to our Arselicker of the Month, but it certainly marked Stewart out from the rest of the many other rimming Righters at The Oz and made him a well deserving winner,” the judge said.

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