

BRISBANE: The Queensland Government says the recent exposure of various scandals in child care centres has also revealed numerous instances of offences that fall under its “adult crime, adult time” laws.
A spokesperson for Premier David Crisafulli said instances of broken toys, paint smeared on walls, and food fights among some toddlers uncovered at some centres during investigations were rightly classified under the new laws as vandalism, graffiti, and anti-social behaviour.
“We are keeping our promise to fight the youth crime wave infesting our state and have told the Queensland Police Service that officers should not hesitate to investigate such appalling incidents,” the spokesperson said.
“We need to throw the book at these offenders using our adult crime-adult time laws and I am pleased to say that arrests have already been made at some child care centres.” (main picture)
***
TOWNSVILLE: A suspect has been arrested here overnight in the inner suburb of Railway Estate without being shot by police first.
The Queensland Police internal ethical standards unit has launched a thorough investigation.
***
CANBERRA: The federal Liberal Party plans to follow the lead of the Labor Party by modifying the official portrait of two of its past leaders hanging in its Parliament House meeting room.
At the start of the first parliamentary sittings last month a sign was added to the wall next to the portrait of former Labor leader and now far-right independent member of the NSW upper house, Mark Latham, noting that he was batshit crazy and had been expelled from the party.
A Liberal Party source said the opposition party was now planning to modify the portrait of immediate past leader Peter Dutton by encasing it in concrete and pretending he never happened.
“We’re also still trying to fix an ongoing problem with the portrait of our party founder Sir Robert Menzies,” the source said.
“For years now Sir Robert’s picture has been spinning uncontrollably on the wall and, like the weeping Madonna statues you see in some old broad churches in Europe, tears of blood continuously and mysteriously flow from his eyes.
“We have called plenty of plumbers to check it out, but we’re still hoping to find one who can fix it,” the source said.

Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!
Follow The Bug Online on WordPress.com

