OLD RIGHT-WING FARTS:

One of News Crap Australia’s longest-serving Righters, Gerard Henderson, is in training to prepare himself for joining the ranks of Sky News Australia’s stable of  “after dark” comment-haters.

Henderson, Australia’s only full-time comment-hater covering the entire output of ABC news and current affairs programs, said he believed that the Murdoch media’s Sky News network would “inevitably” add him to its “after dark” roster.

“I believe I have proved myself as being just as good as any of the current ‘after dark’ hosts at spreading hate and division in line with the Murdoch media model,” Henderson said.

“Since The Australian stopped publishing my weekly Media Watch Dog column it has been appearing on the Sky News website where, I’m proud to say, it has added to the genuine diversity of voices which range from the right to the far right and very far right.

“I have also been continuing my occasional appearances on Sky as a comment-hater on all things ABC with the goal of seeing the national broadcaster shut down to commercially advantage my employer who could then charge for delivering content viewers and listeners now get for free.

“So the next logical step is for me to become one of Sky’s ‘after dark’ comment-haters with my own 30-minute or hour-long show in which I could endlessly attack the ABC in my inimitable style.

“I have been rehearsing such a program at home for many months now by delivering my anti-ABC views and undertaking mock interviews with stand-ins for some of the independent anti-ABC media and political observers I hope to showcase on my own show.” (below)

Henderson said to prepare for hosting a live “after dark” program he had started a new training regime.

“If I am to appear on Sky’s night-time line-up I need to adjust my body clock because at present I hardly sleep at all because I work pretty much 24/7 gathering information to attack the ABC,” he explained.

“I rely on taping and replaying every utterance of every ABC program and every ABC host and reporter on my personal bank of AWA reel-to-reel tape recorders which run around the clock.

“I’ve been doing that since the mid-1960s when I first became suspicious of the corrosive influence on our national life and morals of woke ABC radicals like the late James Dibble who always secretly signalled his political leanings by holding his script in his left hand. (below)

“But that means I sometimes go for days without sleep, so my new training program includes an afternoon nanna nap.

“At about 4pm after I’ve finished replaying and analysing the woke, transgender, radical green, fictitious climate change messaging hidden in the afternoon edition of Play School, and before the start of the blatantly antisemitic Peppa Pig, I now force myself to have a cup of tea, a Bex, and a good lie down. (main picture)

“I hope this will make me fighting fit to take on my next big challenge,” he said.

Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!

Follow The Bug Online on WordPress.com