Dr Dick sets a reader Right on Rupert

The Bug’s resident sexologist helps a reader with a dream that’s giving him nightmares.

Dear Doctor Dick,

I am seeking your professional help following a recurring and disturbing dream I have experienced in recent days that began after US President Donald Trump launched his US$10 billion defamation action against media mogul Rupert Murdoch and his New York-based newspaper The Wall Street Journal for its recent story about the so-called Epstein files.

Trump took offence at the story that claimed he penned a racy (as opposed to his usual racist) letter and doodled a sketch of a naked woman, using his signature to represent her pubic hair, which he sent to Epstein to mark the now-dead underage sex predator’s 50th birthday in 2003.

The Wall Street Journal is a quality, upmarket, and influential newspaper with well-credentialed, authoritative, and independent reporters unlike other far-right Murdoch media such as the Trump-fellating Fox News, its inbred Australian cousin Sky News, and the daily Liberal-National newsletters masquerading as metropolitan daily newspapers with which we are familiar in this country.

So if the Wall Street Journal publishes something it’s got to be correct and defensible in court.

I guess that’s why I keep having the same disturbing dream in which Rupert Murdoch stands his ground, backs the Wall Street Journal’s story 100%, and refuses to concede an inch let alone pay Trump what is essentially a multi-million-dollar bribe to settle the case as others have done to avoid lengthy and expensive courts battles and to protect their business interests.

In the dream Murdoch wins and Trump’s defamation claim is thrown out of court.

Trump, of course, appeals all the way to the US Supreme Court, but Rupert personally leads a nationwide campaign to protect press freedom and defeat Trump’s longstanding “fake news” campaign.

Even Trump’s lackeys on the Supreme Court can’t weasel their way out of a decision to back Murdoch who, in my dream is hailed a national – nay, global – hero. An angel, and even a saint.

He makes an impassioned speech on the steps of the court building declaring he will now protect democracy and freedom of speech by rebuilding and re-staffing Fox News and all of his right-wing outlets around the world to ensure they adhere to the standards of high-quality impartial journalism they should have always been following.

His speech, in my dream, is seen as the turning point in US history which sets in train the rapid crumbling of Trump’s voter support, with polls soon showing his Republican Party acolytes heading for a wipe-out in the 2026 mid-term elections and a Democratic Party landslide with a repeat performance due in the presidential election year 2028.

I hesitate to use a crude expression here, but let me say that until having this dream I have considered Murdoch to be a person defined by four major traits – charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent.

So it has been very disturbing because my dream goes against my longstanding view of Rupert Murdoch. My distress will only get worse if what occurs in my dream actually comes to pass.

What can I do to resolve this conflict?

Dreamer
Dorrigo NSW

Doctor Dick replies:

I can easily understand your agitation but I can assure you that you have nothing to worry about.

Your dream will soon evaporate because Murdoch will fold as easily as the dollar bill Trump would have given as a tip to the poor, manipulated, oppressed underage girls Epstein once procured for him to play hide the baby carrot with, before asking for change.

Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!

Follow The Bug Online on WordPress.com