Police clear city streets

Police in all of Australia’s capital cities and major regional centres say they have now cleared streets of thousands of people who spontaneously gathered this morning in numbers large enough to block commuter traffic.

State and territory police services reported crowds formed earlier today and generated a party atmosphere with many participants singing and dancing but also becoming large enough to block major arterial roads. (main picture)

“It took police across the nation by surprise and we all spent some time working out what had sparked the celebrations,” a spokesperson for NSW Police said.

“But once we did work it out, police in all states and territories were able to act quickly to disperse the crowds in a peaceful manner.

“For instance, here in Sydney we were soon able to clear the Harbour Bridge approaches, the Cahill Expressway, and CBD streets once police took to loudspeakers to explain that it had been convicted murderer Bradley Murdoch who had died in an NT jail overnight.

“The music, singing, and dancing soon stopped and the crowds dispersed very quickly, and in a very disappointed frame of mind, I might add,” the spokesperson said.

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SYDNEY: The Albanese Government’s special envoy to combat antisemitism, Jillian Segal, says she has responded to criticisms of the definition of antisemitism she applied in her report released last week.

“The disagreement and even deep division within the community over the definition I chose proves to me there is a need for me to modify the definition,” Ms Segal said.

“So from today the definition of antisemitism will be extended to include anyone who criticises my definition. That should put an end to the issue.”

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WASHINGTON DC: The Secret Service says it will not press charges against NATO general secretary, Mark Rutte, who has admitted to being a stowaway on US President Donald Trump’s recent return flight to Washington from a meeting of the security alliance in The Hague.

A spokesperson for the Secret Service said Mr Rutte was interviewed following his appearance yesterday in an Oval Office news conference with Mr Trump announcing a deal to supply more US weapons to Ukraine to use in its war against Russia. (below)

“Something was amiss with his appearance, so we spoke to Mr Rutte after the news conference and he admitted he had stowed away on the flight Air Force One made from The Hague in late June,” a spokesperson for the Secret Service said.

“But, as he explained, he was not to blame because when Air Force One flew out of The Hague he was still stuck securely up the President’s ass and couldn’t get out.

“He decided to stay there and coincidentally the President plopped him out just in time to make the White House news conference yesterday.

“So we won’t be taking any further action unless of course Mr Rutte tries again to, shall we say, invade the President’s personal space,” the spokesperson said.

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