In fact, there’s not much room left in there! While we’re already regretting saying that, what are we on about here?

Our media BEAT-UP OF THE YEAR judges are in awe at the lengths our mainstream media have been going to convince its readers/viewers that their newspapers/TV news bulletins exclusively have the never-revealed-before information/footage that swayed the mushroom meal murder trial jury to convict Erin Patterson.

Any there was no better example than Monday’s 6pm Nine News Queensland bulletin where newsreader Melissa Downes kicked off with this: “Tonight, the evidence you haven’t seen …what swayed the jury…”

And moments later: “Tonight for the first time, we can show you Patterson’s police interview which helped the jury decide she’s guilty…”

Our Beat-Up judges were on the edge of their barstools in anticipation and thought it came around 4.27 minutes into the coverage when reporter Amber Johnson showed a still image for about six seconds of Patterson and someone else sitting at a table.

“Surely that can’t be it,” one disappointed judge said as he waved his empty triple Bundy and rum schooner at the barman. “That showed us fuck all, Melissa! That could have been Erin getting advice from her tax accountant shortly before they headed off to a local restaurant to enjoy a succulent beef wellington meal!”

But our judges remained expectant and look out! Here it came at the 5.55 minute mark: Johnston: “Now for the first time, we can reveal where Erin Patterson was kept during her trial… “

Okay, maybe not.

“Here it comes,” another judge predicted when the segment at around the 7.03 minute mark went back to Downes who added: “Tonight, we can bring you every twist and turn…”

Well, almost every twist and turn, as an eight-minute recap made no mention of the “evidence you haven’t seen …what swayed the jury..”

Our judges had not lost complete faith in Downes’s promises and still hoped for the best when she reappeared on screen some 15 minutes after the 6pm edition begin and said this: “In other news…” Definitely maybe not!

“Monster beat-up,” our judges screamed in unison, “Monster fucking beat-up!” as they waved, respectively, their empty triple Bundy and rum schooner and empty large beer jug at the barman.

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