WASHINGTON: Quick-thinking paramedics have been hailed as heroes for saving Benjamin Netanyahu’s life after the Israeli Prime Minister disappeared up Donald Trump’s arse at their White House meeting here yesterday.

Netanyahu is said to be resting uncomfortably at the Moshe Dayan Memorial Hospital for Israeli War Heroes and Other Zionistic Zealots in the US capital after medics pulled the lifeless Netanyahu from Trump’s bloated orange arse.

When it became obvious they were reluctant to use their basic training skills to resuscitate the president, US president-in-waiting VD Trance stepped toward, cleared Netanyahu’s air passages of orange faecal matter that strangely smelled and tasted like Big Macs, Diet Coke and Bone-Spur relieving ointment and administered mouth-to-mouth resuscitation until Netanyahu came to. Trump came too and he was only watching on.

Netanyahu first started disappearing up Trump’s tan track as he proudly declared his Washington host deserved at least two Nobel peace prizes.

Trump blushed mightily not that anyone could tell and uttered a modest “Thank you Bibi, thank you” accompanied by an undersized double thumbs up and with his tiny oval mouth pursed with pleasure at Bibi’s sensible yet long-overdue suggestion.

Halfway up Trump’s not-inconsiderable coit, Netanyahu’s muffled voice could be heard “Make that four!” And just moments later, the barely audible call of “No! Six at least!” was made and Trump’s cloaca clenched involuntarily, sucking Netanyahu from view faster than a female nominee is voted down at a Liberal pre-selection ballot.

“You are truly one of the world’s greatest war heroes after me,” Trump shouted into his own sphincter, his voice trembling with pride, passion and, to be fair, considerable pain as the Israeli leader is quite a bit larger than VD and most of his hand-pickled cabinet colleagues.

It was at this point that the paramedics rushed forward, grabbing onto the ropes that quick-thinking secret service agents had tied to Netanyahu’s ankles only minutes earlier when they saw from experience the Bibi bum’s rush that was likely to happen.

A modest paramedic told The Bug that he and his colleagues could not take all the credit for the rescue. “We would have lost Netanyahu for sure if a couple of news network executives from Fox hadn’t halted his upstream momentum as he went through the motions.”

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