The Bug has broken new ground with its Arse-Licker of the Month Award for June with the judging panel being unanimous in its choice of winner but also split over the suitability of the accolade.

Rather than being awarded to an individual journalist, or ersatz journalist, the latest Janet Albrechtsen Perpetual Trophy goes to the Murdoch media’s national broadshit The Australian.

The newspaper won the award for what the judges said was its “consistent cloaca cleansing of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu through its unquestioning coverage and editorial cheering of his ongoing genocidal campaign to deliberately slaughter innocent Palestinians in Gaza and the West Bank as well as innocents in Lebanon and most recently in Iran with the aim to stall his own reckoning on corruption charges”.

The judging panel also noted The Australian’s “willingness, nay eagerness, to label as anti-Semitic any and all criticism no matter how minor of the Netanyahu doctrine of ethnic cleansing aimed at giving free rein – and land – to new Israeli settlements in Gaza and the West Bank at the cost of further Palestinians lives”.

The awarding of the trophy coincided with news from Tel Aviv that Mr Netanyahu had undergone urgent medical scans which revealed The Australian had lodged itself high in his upper bowel as a result of its right-wing rimming efforts. (main picture)

“This news came just after judges had unanimously agreed to give the Albrechtsen trophy to The Oz for a related but different piece of Murdoch ring-mastery,” a source familiar with proceedings said.

“They had settled on giving the gong to the unnamed subeditor who came up with the shameless front page headline lambasting Iran for hitting Israeli civilians with missiles. (below)

“But further discussion saw them decide to reward the entire paper which then prompted some judges to raise the question of whether the Arse-Licker Award was suitable recognition.

“They argued that the Murdoch outlet possibly deserved an entirely new award since it had long ago gone well beyond the usual CCT tonguing of the Israeli PM – that’s coit crack and taint – and had ventured well into his genocidal guts as the scans showed.

“In the end the judges decided not to strike a new stand-alone award recognising enema-like behaviour by media operatives since it would have taken them days to narrow down the name of any new trophy given the array of pro-Bibi Righters across the Murdoch media empire,” the source said.

Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!

Follow The Bug Online on WordPress.com