

WASHINGTON DC: Sources within the Pentagon have now explained the delay US President Donald Trump took before ordering this morning’s bunker-busting bombing raids of Iranian nuclear facilities.
“Seasoned and very senior military leaders like me have been involved in a lot of very deep and complicated intelligence assessments with the President,” a source involved in the process confided.
“These were aimed at determining whether the President himself had the intelligence to make any decision on getting the US into yet another messy war in the Middle East. The answer was a decisive ‘no way’ but he’s gone ahead and done it anyway.”
The Pentagon source said during the assessment process the President consistently maintained a contrary view about his mental capacities.
“He kept insisting he’s a stable genius,” the source said. “That may well be true if he is talking literally because I’ve personally seen horses with more intelligence than him.”
Meanwhile his Director of National Intelligence, Tulsi Gabbard, has been announced as an early surprise pick for the American gymnastics team for the 2028 Los Angeles Olympic Games.
A spokesperson for USA Gymnastics said Ms Gabbard, although otherwise a novice, had shown “exceptional natural gymnastic skills” in her recent positioning on the question of whether Iran possessed nuclear weapons or was in the process of building them. (main picture)
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SYDNEY: Former prime minister Tony Abbott has confirmed that his new book charting Australia’s history will not repeat his previously expressed controversial views on British settlement of the continent.
“I’ve been Righting this history of our nation for many months,” Mr Abbott (below) said. “So the exercise has given me time to reflect on some of the positions I’ve held in the past.”

In 2014 Mr Abbott incurred criticism for saying that the British had exercised a form of “foreign investment … in the then unsettled or, um, scarcely settled, Great South Land”.
Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander communities expressed outrage at the comments for ignoring their prior occupation of the land and the negative impacts of British settlement.
“I have certainly modified my position on that subject over the past decade and I’m sure my new ideas won’t be as controversial as they were in 2014,” Mr Abbott said.
“I now believe that, like virginity, sovereignty over their land was the greatest gift that Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander communities could give someone, the ultimate gift of giving, and they wouldn’t have given it to the British lightly,” he said.

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