WASHINGTON DC: As a massive military parade gets under way in the US capital, the White House has denied claims it is deliberately provoking anti-Trump protesters in the hope of generating another Los Angeles-style opportunity to score political points by suppressing citizens’ constitutional rights to protest.

White House spokesperson, the former Karoline Leavitt, (below) briefed reporters on executive orders signed by US President Donald Trump prior to his appearance in a reviewing stand at the parade. (main picture)

“I begin by declaring to you all – especially the traitorous non-MAGA media vermin present who really should be put to death – that the orders signed this morning mean from now on I am to be known and addressed as Lady Karoline Leavitt,” she said to wild applause and spontaneous curtsies from MAGA-aligned media representatives in the White House media briefing room.

Lady Leavitt went on to detail the new executive orders which included one to outlaw all protests against the Trump administration anywhere in the United States, by any individual or group, on any topic, for any reason while encouraging pro-Trump demonstrations.

“This order to be known as the Maga Carta will ensure that from today any protests across the US will be conducted in the Right manner,” she explained.

Lady Leavitt also detailed executive orders to restyle the President’s official title as “His Majesty King Donald the First, President of the United States of America”.

She said the new title had been arrived at after consideration was given to several other options including “His Majesty King Donald the First and the Greatest” and “His Majesty the Most Stable Genius, King Donald the First”.

“In the end it was decided by His Majesty to go with the most modest change in title,” Lady Leavitt said.

She said other executive orders meant new titles for the First Lady and the immediate Trump family.

“Her Majesty Queen Melania and Baron Barron Trump now have official titles as do Princess Ivanka, Prince Donald Junior, and Prince Eric.

“In addition the White House will from now on be known as the Presidential Palace but in line with his previous anti-DEI directives His Majesty will be encouraging people to reference it as the Whites’ House,” she said.

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