

TEL AVIV, ISRAEL: The government of Benjamin Netanyahu has expressed “deep regret” over another 45 Palestinian deaths overnight in a supposedly safe zone near Rafah in the enclave’s north.
An Israeli government spokesperson released this statement overnight Australian-time: “The IDF received verifiable and accurate information that a leading Hamas guerrilla who had been cowardly hiding among Palestinian citizens taking refuge in that safe zone was about to leave that zone and take one of the few taxis still alive in Gaza.” (pictured at top and below).

“The IDF immediately targeted that taxi and, naturally, enough, will launch a full and open investigation into nonsense claims by criminal actors against Israel’s right for Gazans to live in pieces that somehow our precisely targeted weapons reached that safe zone.
“We will get to the bottom of whoever was responsible although we suspect that Hamas munitions being held in a spider’s web of underground tunnels below that safe zone were deliberately detonated.
“Do we regret that 45 innocent people, including women and children, died in this incident?
“Of course we do. But luckily many of those people had moved to nearby aid zones in the hope of getting life-saving food and water and, luckily, we got them there.”
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LOS ANGELES, California: The first deaths of civilians caught up in protests against Donald Trump’s illegal immigrants crackdown and deportations have been reported here overnight after ICE agents mistakenly fired real bullets from rubber guns.
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WASHINGTON, DC: President Donald Trump has confirmed rumours he will lead this weekend’s “big, beautiful” military parade standing proudly in a US army Jeep. “It will be a fitting tribute to another world dictator I really admire,” Trump said.


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