TEL AVIV: Greta Thunberg (main picture) plans to break her longstanding practice of not patronising transport reliant on fossil fuels by making a fast jet flight out of Israel.

The Swedish environmental and human rights crusader was detained by the Israeli Defence Force (IDF) after sailing to Gaza as part of the Freedom Flotilla to deliver humanitarian aid and protest Israel’s genocidal policies towards Palestinians.

“IDF officers informed Ms Thunberg that Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu wanted to punish her severely for her actions,” an IDF spokesperson said.

“It took just seconds for Greta to book a plane flight back to Sweden after it was explained that the PM wasn’t planning to jail her but to send her to school.”

***

KYIV: Ukraine’s President Volodymyr Zelenskyy says he is ready to send military aid to California as the beleaguered US state battles incursions led by a corrupt, narcissistic, megalomaniacal tyrant.

“I am being kept abreast of developments in California, especially in the key battleground of Los Angeles,” President Zelenskyy said.

“The Ukrainian people can empathise with Californians battling an egomaniac who deliberately provokes military confrontations with no thought to the human consequences just to assert political dominance.

“If ultimately considered necessary, Ukraine will deploy troops and materiel to California to help those who, like us, are struggling to preserve their freedom and liberty.”

President Zelenskyy evaded questions about whether he would authorise drone strikes on Washington DC in a bid to “behead” the aggressor’s capabilities.

“Let’s just see how things develop in coming days,” he said.

***

AUSTIN, TX: A new electric vehicle (EV) (below) is about to hit showrooms in the United States after apparently being developed in strict secrecy.

CEO of the previously unknown Stale EV company, Noel Skum, (below) said he had a track record in the industry but declined to elaborate.

“Let me just say I know what I’m doing when it comes to making EVs, and my Stale cars are designed to appeal to customers who have been considering buying an electric vehicle but who may have been put off by certain political events involving a certain well-known brand of EVs from a certain well-known company led by a certain genius from South Africa,” Mr Skum said.

“I believe that my Stale EVs will soon be selling well here in the US, and if not here, then certainly we’ll be making huge  inroads into the market on Mars very soon.”

Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!

Follow The Bug Online on WordPress.com