While I can’t speak for my writing partner at The Bug, do you know how long I’ve waited in the hope of seeing men in white coats at my front door, one armed with a straitjacket, the other with a tranquilliser gun, to end the madness.

Or, even more dramatically, for someone concerned for my welfare, to get a gun and shoot me to end the insanity! Just me. Not my co-editor, co-publishing Bug partner! He can make his own arrangements.

The reason for such dreams of a knock at the door or hopes of some lethal force? The Bug has just reached the 5000 post mark since the two of us foolishly decided to relaunch The Bug as an online publication some years ago.

Five fucking thousand! That’s roughly just more than two posts a day ever since. Every bloody day! Every Sunday after we return from church; the other bloke does like to take in two services. Christmas Day. Public holidays. Anzac Day after midday. Day after day after fucking day!

So, so why are we not celebrating this millstone? (Leave it alone, Geoff Turner!) Could two washed up, old (and getting oldish) journo hacks love writing that much? For no financial reward whatsoever? Considering each day’s efforts often take hours.

I guess the answer is a simple one: we love to write and after practicing our own brand of satire for three-and-a-half decades of financially unrewarded toil, we do like to think we provide a much-needed laugh or two every now and then at the very least.

Do you BUGgers out there mind if we immodestly add that we’re proud of the madness we have generated.

We’ve never taken the mickey out of folk almost as common as us. We’ve lopped away at tall poppies in politics here and abroad, and in the media, at pop culture and social trends.

Our fake columnists – mostly the creation of the other bloke – rampage on about sport, entertainment, financial advice, starsigns, the public service, sex therapy, etc, etc.

We are proud of our relentless campaign since a few days after October 7 2023, calling out what Israel was doing in Gaza for what it was and still is – genocide. We weren’t geniuses to declare from the get-go that Israel would raze Gaza from a distance to limit their own troop losses, and it’s been Netanyahu’s aim all along to inflict a one-state solution on Gaza and the West Bank.

Way back then we ran our fake ads for plans to offer luxury gated living for the Jewish people in New South Israel. True, we didn’t see the strip as a Trump-owned collection of seven-star rip-off resorts but we have never claimed to be that clever or as prescient as Kisma Aryias.

We railed against the disgusting, racist and divisive No campaign at the Voice referendum. Then, and ever since. We have kicked black white supremacists Warren Mundine and Jacinta Price from pillar to post and back again.

Our daily coverage of the 2025 election was equal to none. (leave it alone, Geoff!) A mixture of facts and fiction.

We have often boasted about being a more-or-less daily version of Media Watch through our Media Glass House and Mediocre Watch columns. We have constantly had those moronic non-journalists at Sky LNPNews especially in our sites. (Geoff!!!)

So before I sign off, I’m guessing the big question our loyal reader is asking is simply this: Will the madness continue?

Sadly, yes. Until that ring at the door or the gunshot that you apparently never hear.

And all because, unlike Barnaby Joyce as he wobbles along a footpath and comes across an early opener, we haven’t worked out yet how to fucking stop.

Don Gordon-Brown

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