Libs and Nats close to a deal

The Bug understands one remaining sticking point has to be addressed before the Liberal and National parties finalise a deal on a reconstituted coalition arrangement for the term of the new Federal Parliament.

“The Nats are insisting that any mention of or reference to the agreement or to the opposition itself is presented as the COAL-ition,” a Liberal party source said.

“Their final ask is a fallback from their original demand for it to be called the NUCLEAR-ition.

“It’s up to Ssuussaann Lleeyy, as she now insists on being called, to make the ultimate decision on that one, but another consideration at the moment for both her and David Littleproud is to ensure that neither is seen to have blinked first in agreeing to get back together.

“To that end both leaders have called in specialised allied health practitioners to get them through the next few days when they make any announcement,” the source said. (main picture)

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WASHINGTON DC: The White House is becoming increasingly concerned about the tendency for US President Donald Trump to deliver rambling and off-topic remarks at news conferences and public events.

The most recent example was his performance at an Oval Office media briefing on his new Golden Dome missile system designed to protect the US from attack. (below)

Although Mr Trump began his remarks focussing on the cost and method of operation of the new defence system, he soon departed from his official Pentagon talking points.

“This whole Golden Shower system will work a treat,” he said. “I should know because it’s all my idea.

“It’s based on having a cheap Russian hooker who may or may not have filmed herself in a Moscow hotel room taking a leak over say, a businessman… maybe an American who’s made his name in property development.

“And maybe he was wearing a dark blue suit and red tie, I don’t know, I can’t remember…,” he said before staffers interrupted and called an end to the media conference.

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TEL AVIV: Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has rejected claims that he has been attempting to eliminate Palestinians entirely from Gaza by withholding food, water, and other basic supplies.

“These claims are totally without foundation. We have been sending into Gaza all the supplies we believe will be effective in achieving our ultimate goal,” Mr Netanyahu said.

“For instance I have instructed the Israeli Defence Force to deliver blankets to all Palestinians within the borders of Gaza.

“These blankets are good quality and come in a range of sizes from large, to medium, and smallpox… er, I mean small,” he said.

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