The Grim Reaper has publicly apologised for striking former US President Joe Biden with what has been confirmed as an aggressive form of prostate cancer.
The life-ending scythe-wielding spectre who also often works under the name Death said “pressure of work” was to blame for Mr Biden’s diagnosis.
“Since November last year I started to receive an overwhelming number of requests to turn my attention to the President of the United States,” he told reporters at a hastily convened news conference in Gaza City (main picture) where he said he was currently working “24/7 with no breaks”.
“The number of requests has gone through the roof since mid-January. They’ve been pouring in, not just from America, but from right around the world.
“The demands for me to use my powers were so numerous that I couldn’t address them immediately.
“I was far too busy shuttling between Ukraine and Gaza where my good friends Vladimir and Bibi have both retained me on long-term contracts.
“But when I did find time to turn my attention to them I had very little time to do so – I was between two big jobs for Bibi at a pre-school and at a hospital in Gaza.
“I admit I was acting under pressure and couldn’t recall if I was meant to apply my particular talents to the 45th, 46th, or the 47th US President.
“Unfortunately, I split the difference and picked the 46th. So I’d like to apologise to Mr Biden. Sadly I can never undo my work.
“But for those who are disappointed, I can assure them that I will do whatever I can to make amends, when I can find time,” Mr Reaper said before refusing to take questions, abruptly ending the news conference, and quickly exiting the room while raising his scythe and yelling “8647!”
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