EUROVISION 2025:

Brisbane-based impresario Vince Agarol has blamed national multicultural broadcaster SBS for overseeing “yet another shitshow” for Australia at this year’s Eurovision Song Contest.

Mr Agarol, best known for his as-yet unstaged one-man musical Poo Jogger telling the story of the Brisbane man caught in 2018 after repeatedly defecating on Brisbane suburban driveways, (main picture) said SBS had again picked the wrong entrant to carry the Australian flag.

Reacting to the elimination of Australia’s 2025 entry Milkshake Man sung by Go-Jo in the contest’s semi-final stage, Mr Agarol said: “The powers that be at SBS are just shitheads. And I don’t mean that in a good way.

“Australia should be winning at Eurovision this weekend but we keep getting wiped because SBS keeps picking the wrong song and the wrong singer.

“The constipated SBS decision-making system needs an urgent bureaucratic enema before the 2026 contest process starts, otherwise we’ll be in the toilet yet again this time next year.”

Mr Agarol said he could not fathom why SBS kept rejecting him and his original songs as Australia’s official contestant at Eurovision.

“I keep offering up myself and many of the songs I’ve penned for Poo Jogger, but SBS keeps knocking me back by making pissweak excuses about plagiarism,” he said.

“For instance they said no to My Fart Will Go On because they claimed it was a rip-off of  Celine Dion’s hit theme song from the movie Titanic.

“Then they knocked back How Do You Solve a Problem Like Diarrhoea? which I admit does sound a bit like Rodgers and Hammerstein’s  How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria? from The Sound of Music.

“But I’ve got many more songs from Poo Jogger that could all be winners at Eurovision 2026, especially the upbeat Portaloo, provided ABBA drops its vexatious litigation against me in time.”

Mr Agarol said his dream was to win at Eurovision and bring its trophy – the famed glass microphone – home to Australia.

“I’ll keep knocking on SBS’s door even though they keep putting up the ‘engaged’ sign,” he said. “I’m not giving up. I’ll carry on undeturd (sic).”

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