The defeat by the Labor Party of Greens’ leader Adam Bandt in his Melbourne electorate has prompted two different responses from opposite sides of the political spectrum.

The news of Bandt’s demise saw prominent Righter with News Crap Australia and SkyLNP News “after dark” host, Andrew Bolt, rushed to hospital (main picture) after collapsing on air last night.

A SkyLNP source said Bolt’s collapse during his comments to camera about Bandt’s defeat was at first thought to be due to a heart attack or stroke caused by overwork.

“Andrew has been burning the candle at both ends since election night, trying to meet his professional obligation as a News Crap Australia political commentator – finding and magnifying any good news for the Liberal Party and condemning anything that’s even vaguely moderate or left of centre,” the source said.

“But, as you know, there hasn’t been much of that. So when the Greens lost yet another seat, and especially given the fact it was the party leader’s, Andrew was beside himself.

“He was so excited by the development that during his monotonous… errr, I mean during his monologue on Sky he was visibly agitated in a very, shall we say, personal way and became so worked up that he spontaneously ejaculated for some time.

“The viewer watching at the time would have been surprised no doubt at seeing a groaning and cross-eyed Andrew Bolt collapse in what we now know was an orgasmic seizure.

“Thankfully when the ambulance got him to hospital the cause was identified and Andrew is now resting comfortably and has been on a constant IV drip to replace the fluids he lost.”

Meanwhile the Labor Party said it would pay a far-right activist group that campaigned against the Albanese Government at the recent election.

ALP national secretary and campaign director, Paul Erickson, said he had insisted that party funds be used to reimburse Advance, the community campaign group established originally as Advance Australia to be a right-wing version of left-leaning Get Up.

“Even if do say so myself, Labor ran a good campaign. Much better than the Libs, obviously,” Mr Erickson said.

“But we really couldn’t have held off the Greens, let alone taken Adam Bandt’s seat, without the help of Advance.

“In particular Labor is forever indebted to Advance for its campaign based around the theme of ‘Can’t vote Greens, not this time’. (below)

“The campaign bagged out the Greens but didn’t identify any alternative party that voters might support.

“We reckon that drove so many would-be Greens voters to Labor that we’ve stopped trying to count them.

“We also reckon there were thousands of disillusioned left-leaning or moderate Liberal supporters looking for a party to support and Advance helped shepherd them to us, not the Greens.

“So it’s only fair Labor pays for the Advance campaign. No matter the total cost, the benefits were priceless,” Erickson said.

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