Another Bundy Rum-fuelled brawl in the judges’ room delayed the announcement of our Arse-Licker-of-the-Month for April but as they’ve slowly been released from hospital a quorum could be formed to get this done!

Why the fisticuffs? In our judges’ room on Pod 4 mezzanine level at BUG HQ, our panel was fairly evenly divided as to whether the award should be generalised – either to all Sky LNPNews hosts or even the mainstream media generally – or to an individual as is usually the case.

Okay! Okay! Enough of the deliberate tease. Our uncoveted winner for April is …. yet another drum role, please …. Sky LNPNews host Sharri Markson, who also cleaned up recently in our mini-arse-licker weekly campaign competition!

The reason for her latest Bug gong? Markson bravely declared as the campaign neared its end that not only were all the major pollsters getting it terribly wrong but that Labor was paying millions to Newspoll, hinting perhaps that this might tempt the pollster to skewer its findings towards the Albanese government.

And why did Markson say these things, that no real journalist would ever utter but were RIGHT up her alley as an LNP publicist?

Because people in the Opposition had told her, including David Littleproud, that their own internal polling was different to the mainstream operators and that Peter Dutton’s team was still very much in the game!

Now this is the point where we usually roll out phrases such as “Ring mastery of the highest order”, “Rimming with confidence”, “champion cloacal-cleaning tongue work!” and general observations that Rupert and Lachlan Murdoch and other senior Newscorpse executives in Oz won’t have the need for the use of dunny paper any time soon because of Markson’s amazing tongue-in-groove skills. We won’t be doing that this time.

We’ll let Markson’s words and accusations on Sky LNPNews do that themselves.

“Tonight I’m going to tell you how the polls you’re reading in the news are wrong when it comes to this federal election and what’s really going on here.

“Most national polls have been showing Labor ahead and some have even pointed to majority government for Labor. But this is a fantasy.

But to be fair to Markson – as The Bug also strives to do – it turned out that all the public professional pollsters did in fact get it terribly wrong and Markson was very Right but also very wrong in that regard herself.

Our average of the pollsters on election eve had Labor ahead on two-party preferred terms at about 52.6 to 47.4 for the LNP.

The reason why Markson and all other Sky LNPNews hosts have been sobbing uncontrollably ever since and who are now lashing out with accusations that the voters have gotten things totally wrong because Albanese lied/Mediscared so much is that the 2PP on election night was around 55/45 to Labor.

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