We’re now only hours away from Antony Green calling the election, followed by some Liberal talking head declaring that the party of Menzies needs to go further to the right. Good luck with that! But until the last vote is cast and counted The Bug will continue its world-class coverage of the campaign and party leaders.

The final full day of election campaigning was thrown into chaos late yesterday when Prime Minister Anthony Albanese was admitted to hospital and is unlikely to be released at least until polls close today.

By contrast, Opposition Leader Peter Dutton continued his blitz of marginal seats yesterday by making what reporters covering his campaign counted as his 357^th visit to a service station in the past five weeks for a mini-rally of Liberal supporters.

He was there to promote his plan for cheaper petrol for 12 months by temporarily cutting federal fuel excise.

The cheaper petrol promise is believed to be the sole Coalition policy that has not been ditched, modified, or made up on the spot since the election was called.

At the Melbourne service station Mr Dutton was joined by what he described as key supporters who were “just your average Aussie battlers”. (main picture)

“As we all know, everyone who is elected as prime minister says on election night that they will govern for all Australians not just those who voted for them,” he said.

“Well fuck that!” he declared as a portable sound system cranked out the Village People’s hit song YMCA and the Opposition Leader performed an awkward dance on the spot by standing still and making jerky movements with his fists.

***

Meanwhile Prime Minister Albanese was last night described as being in a stable condition after being rushed to hospital suffering shock from severe blood loss.

Because of the PM’s last-minute fast-paced blitz of marginal seats in numerous states it is at present unclear what hospital and in which city or state he is being treated.

A Labor Party campaign spokesperson told The Bug last night that the incident had come as a shock to all concerned.

“All of us in the PM’s travelling party had returned to our hotel [Friday] evening and we had all gathered in Albo’s suite for a debrief,” the spokesperson said.

“We had been talking for a while and sketching out plans for Saturday when someone suggested we watch the ABC’s 7.30 program.

“We flicked it on in time to see Liberal campaign spokesperson, Senator James Paterson, quizzed by Sarah Henderson on the quality of the Liberal Party campaign.

“When Paterson said ‘It’s been a highly professional and competent campaign’, well Albo and everyone else in the room just lost it.

“We all had a great laugh, but unfortunately the PM laughed so much that both his sides split – literally.

“He was losing a lot of blood so we called an ambulance and he was treated in the room before being rushed to some big hospital (below) in whatever city we’re in,” the spokesperson said.

***

Now to the pollsters. We waited patiently and had almost give up hope that Roy Morgan and Newspoll might have one last poll that didn’t count. And lobbed they did: Morgan staying unchanged at 53/57 two-party preferred Labor’s way, while Newspoll favoured Albo’s mob by 52.5/47.5, up a smidge. A rare Freshwater poll for The Australian Financial Review lobbed the other day, giving Labor a 51.5/48.5 two-party split while other last-gasp results included YouGov and the Heralds’ Resolve poll both agreeing with Morgan: Labor ahead 53/47.

So, finally, while it’s been fun, folks, to do this for many weeks now, the average of the seven polls our shonky state-school maths has been collating ends the 2025 federal campaign at 52.457142/47.542857 two-party preferred in Labor’s favour.

***

And as for the bookies …. the first figures below are from around 9.35 pm last night (Friday) with the results from roughly 24 hours earlier in brackets.

Sportsbet: Labor $1.08 ($1.06); Coalition $8.50 ($9.30)
Ladbrokes: Labor $1.06 ($1.06); Coalition $9.00 ($9.00)
TAB: Labor $1.09 ($1.08); Coalition $7.50 ($8.00)
bet365: Labor $1.062 ($1.07) Coalition $10.00 ($9.00).
Neds: Labor $1.06 ($1.06); Coalition $9.00 ($9.00).

Not sure when these offerings close off so get in fast if you want to squander some of your hard-earned on the Coalition.

***

Clever yet cruel and cutting words will always curry favour with The Bug‘s judges of its many awards so today we honour Dr Sheep Person Podge!

We’re pretty sure Dr Sheep, etc, etc, was bleating on – with countless others – about this offering yesterday by Sharri Markson and for this particular award, how could you past her, hmmm?

No further words needed from us, and that’s …. drum roll please … OFFICIAL!

As this daily campaign review has mentioned before … don’t you just love the smell of desperation in the morning?

BREAKING OVERNIGHT: Online bookies have now closed off their election betting but have introduced a new segment that we suspect you mug punters out there will risk some of your hard-earned over.

Here are the average odds they are offering over who Antony Albanese will thank first in his victory speech tonight!

Donald Trump and Peter Dutton: both $2.50

The LNP’s nuclear power plant plans: $3.45

Almost the entire Australian mainstream mediocre who convinced Peter Dutton that coming across as Trump Down Under would make him a shoo-in as our next PM; $4.50.

Sussan Ley, Bridge McKenzie, Jane Hume, Michaelia Cash and Andrew Hastie for every time they opened their mouths on the campaign trail: $6.50.

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