Horses put down in race tragedy!

Two once-highly-praised thoroughbreds have had to be euthanised on track in front of shocked punters, the result of a bizarre collision as the field rounded the home turn in the feature event of the day at Canberra race course, the triennial Commonwealth Cup.

Moderate performers I’m Not A Monster and stablemate The Coalition could not be saved after striking each other and tumbling to the turf as the five-week event reached its exciting finale.

Never considered real chances, both horses were clearly laboring as they turned into the home straight, either side of long-shot A Single Policy Worth Voting For. That horse slipped further behind and race punters, aware that both I’m Not A Monster and The Coalition were erratic runners the best of times, started ripping up their betting slips the moment they realised that I’m Not A Monster and The Coalition no longer had A Single Policy Worth Voting For between them.

As feared, the two mounts converged, struck each other and then tumbled head-first to the turf. Luckily both riders were unhurt.

Connections of both horses were inconsolable as attendants erected shrouds around both beasts and the course veteranarian stepped forward to end their pain.

One said: “Neither was ever going to win but it’s just so, so, sad!”

But one well-known on-course punter who asked not to be named was far less kind: “Clearly the preparation of both these horses for such an important event was amateurish and shambolic.”

“From the moment the field was set on its way, I’m Not A Monster and The Opposition were clearly poorly prepared for the event. Did any fucking planning at all go into their race tactics?

“I’ve lost a motza on these two canned-dog-food suppliers!

“It’s hard to believe the bloodlines of both these donkeys include Pig Iron Bob and The Man of Steel, both staying titans of the turf!”

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