Already regarded by most commentators around the nation as providing by far the best coverage of Campaign ’25, The Bug proudly presents what we believe is a world first in election reporting.

Stunned by the looks over recent days of Peter Dutton’s shadow ministers behind his back – and let’s be honest they all look like they’ve squeezed out a fart that decided to upgrade itself at the final movement – our panel of unsurpassed politics experts posed the question: Can a pollie’s actual thoughts be determined using the latest in AI and modern computers even more powerful than than the ones that allegedly put man on the moon?

Taking the skills of body language experts to an exciting new level, if you like.

So we brought together a panel of mind experts – if you don’t mind us calling them that – and they crunched the numbers and came up with what some of Dutton’s shadows were actually thinking at recent pressers.

Firstly we had Andrew Hastie in WA…

and then Australia’s next Attorney-General Michaelia Cash on the east coast…

… and finally Sussan Ley, whose place in the Dutton government’s first ministry is in sssssssome doubt.

The Bug firmly believes that with this new technology, politics wherever it’s practised around the world will never be the same! Lying with impunity will from now on be impossible, meaning Scott Morrison would never have entered politics.

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