Only seven full days of campaigning left! Forget about our political leaders! The important question is: Can The Bug’s expert political analysts make it to polling day with all their faculties intact?

Opposition Leader Peter Dutton yesterday re-committed a Coalition government to cutting 41,000 public service jobs in Canberra while denying his policy was inspired by similar moves by US President Donald Trump.

The national capital is already home to 70,000 public servants, according to official figures.

“Any suggestion I’ve been inspired by or copying Donald Trump to make a 60 per cent cut in public servants in Canberra is just fake news by the lame-stream media,” Mr Dutton (main picture) told reporters.

“All I have done is make plans to establish a Department of Government Efficiency, or DOGE, which is completely different to what President Trump has done in establishing a Department of Government efficiency, or DOGE.

“I just want to drain the Canberra swamp. It’s that simple.”

Mr Dutton conceded under questioning that he did not like Canberra either as a place to live or a place to work when Federal Parliament was sitting.

“I much prefer Sydney which is why I plan to live at Kirribilli House overlooking that magnificent harbour not if, but when I’m elected prime minister,” he said.

“And I will be elected prime minister as long as Sleepy Anthony Albanese and crooked Labor don’t steal this election. We must stop the steal!

“My decision to move into Kirribilli House instead of The Lodge looks even better now because when I’m finished with Canberra it’ll be a ghost town. It’ll look like the capital of some shithole nation,” he added.

Mr Dutton then drew the news conference to a close and began rhythmically moving his clenched fists while doing a stilted dance to the tune of the Village People’s song YMCA as he moved to his official Commonwealth car which was easily identified by a huge sticker applied to his sides reading “This is not electric!”

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The weekly YouGov poll lobbed overnight, pushing out Labor’s advantage to 53.5/46.5 two-party preferred. Respected psephologist Kevin Bonham applied 2022 preference flows to the YouGov findings and came up with a 55/45 split. Disastrous news for an LNP running a disastrous campaign. The average of the six polls we are monitoring drifts further apart to 53.5 to 46.5 2PP to Labor.

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Whether or not the bookies heard of the latest polling, several blew out the LNP’s odds significantly, led by Sportsbet that pushed Dutton’s desperates out past the $6 mark. Quite remarkable in a two-horse race, especially considering Mrs Dutton was looking at curtain and paint swatches for Kirribilli House just a few months ago.

Sportsbet: Labor $1.14 ($1.22); Coalition $6.05 ($4.30)
Ladbrokes: Labor $1.20 ($1.20); Coalition $4.50 ($4.50)
TAB: Labor $1.18 ($1.20); Coalition $4.75 ($4.50)
bet365: Labor $1.14 ($1.16) Coalition $5.50 ($5.00).
Neds: Labor $1.20 ($1.20); Coalition $4.50 ($4.50).

By this morning (Friday) Sportsbet’s odds on the LNP had sneaked back under $6 – $5.80 in fact.

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At this stage of the campaign, we’re wondering what fuckwits at some Liberal Club at one of our universities thought Albanese’s stage fall can still swing votes. cosmic jester clearly thought the same way.

Other Liberal Party memes during yesterday (Thursday) also went hard on Albo’s tumble. If that’s the best you’ve got, petals, you are in deep, deep, poo.

What have we been saying over recent days? Who doesn’t love the smell of desperation in the morning!

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We’ll leave Sky LNPNews alone today and let’s dishonour Afternoon Briefing’s Patricia Karvelas, who also wasted valuable time banging on about Albanese’s fall. Really, Patricia?

BREAKING OVERNIGHT: The online bookies mentioned above are now framing odds on the exact day and time that each of them will suspend election betting and start paying out.

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