Clive Palmer, founder of the Oboe of the Obese political movement now turning Australia yellow and mainstream commercial media outlets momentarily profitable, has ensured his 2025 election campaign will not cost him a single non-red cent.

You don’t get to be an Australian billionaire without boasting a brilliant business mind and in yet another Bug exclusive, we can reveal that Palmer has waged a monster lay-off bet to cover his expected $120 million election spend.

That’s right! The head-honcho of Mineralogy, coal champion and proud-as-punch Titanic replica builder has taken out a bet of $600 million with the TAB and other agencies at $1.20. Short odds, sure, but the return of the Albanese Labor government will see Palmer retrieve his $600 million wager and pocket a cool $120 million in winnings.

The crafty, coalmining colossus told The Bug: “On top of that, I’ll get a big Australian Electoral Commission payout for each and every vote the Oboe of the Obese garners as our leader Suellen Wrighton claims The Lodge as our next Prime Minister!”

Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!

Follow The Bug Online on WordPress.com