The staff at Australia’s No.1 family newszine continue their exhaustive and exhausting coverage of the federal election campaign, regardless of the cost to their health or wealth.

Alleged billionaire Clive Palmer launched his party’s election campaign at his Sunshine Coast resort on Saturday amidst claims he has been too lax in checking his candidates’ backgrounds.

Mr Palmer made no reference to the troubles faced by his party, Oboe of the Obese, in several seats it claims it will win on 3 May.

In Dickson, the outer-Brisbane seat held on a thin margin by Opposition Leader Peter Dutton, Mr Palmer’s party is running Michael Norman Jessop who is currently on bail over serious stalking and weapons charges.

In the NSW seat of Reid, candidate David Sarikaya was endorsed despite state government authorities declaring he has misrepresented his claimed qualifications as a health services provider including a PhD in psychology and that he “posed a risk to the health and safety of the public”.

In the Gold Coast seat of Fadden, Mr Palmer’s party has endorsed a golden labrador (below).

An internal investigation is believed to have sourced the mistake to a mix-up in paperwork by a local party official who considered a candidate from the suburb of Labrador in the seat would attract significant votes.

At his campaign launch Mr Palmer spoke for three hours and promised to “make Australia great again”.

His address was so long that he was forced to phone a food delivery service to bring him a number of jumbo hot dogs to help maintain his energy levels. (main picture)

Towards the end his speech hired security guards sprang into action and wrestled to the ground a woman they assessed posed a threat to Mr Palmer as she approach him on stage.

The women turned out to be the Oboe of the Obese leader and would-be prime minister Suellen Wrightson.

After the confusion was cleared up Ms Wrightson began her own speech which Mr Palmer cut short after two minutes and pushed her offstage while he accepted a standing ovation from the crowd of 17.

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The RedBridge poll of 20 key seats lobbed yesterday and one of its owners called it the biggest collapse he had seen in years of producing and consuming political polling, especially in Victoria and it’s not good news for the Coalition. In those seats, Labor’s two-party-preferred vote now sits at 53/47 per cent.

While not an overall poll, the size of it tempts we unscientific bastards to feed that figure into our stats, so if our maths is correct, the average of the six polls we are monitoring now has Labor about 53.4 to 46.6 2PP. With the long weekend well under way with voters’ minds now occupied elsewhere, has time run out for the LNP?

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And as for the bookies, at around 9.40pm last night (Saturday), here are the odds from the betting agencies that we are monitoring, compared with 24 hours earlier!

Sportsbet: Labor $1.22 ($1.22); Coalition $4.30 ($4.30)
Ladbrokes: Labor $1.20 ($1.22); Coalition $4.50 ($4.25)
TAB: Labor $1.20 ($1.23); Coalition $4.20 ($4.50)
bet365: Labor $1.22 ($1.22) Coalition $4.20 ($4.20).
Neds: Labor $1.20 ($1.22); Coalition $4.50 ($4.25).

It looks like the punters’ minds have definitely gone elsewhere. Perhaps they’re enjoying an Easter egg hunt, seeing there’s more chance of winning at that.

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So what piece of xcreta dropped on some pollie’s head on the hustings yesterday (Easter Saturday) that really impressed us?

Some chap called Sammy J provided a meme that suggests Dutton has been closely watching his dreams of a free residential rental in harbourside Sydney fading rapidly with every fresh utterance or action from the Tangarine Shitgibbon in the White House.

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We stopped looking once we found this laughable offering from Sky LNPNews host Danica De Giorgio, banging on about Labor’s “self-harm” renewables-only energy approach.

“It’s costing us a bomb and not delivering reliable energy to see us into the future, let alone bring down our power bills,” Ms De Giorgio said.

“It’s sending us broke and backwards.”

Seeing she is so, so, happy to be repeating the LNP’s never-ending but totally incorrect spiel about Labor’s “renewables only” approach, she’s also made the list of contenders for our next Goebbels Goblet award.

We don’t give a flying fuck as to what De Giorgio calls herself, just as long as it’s not a journalist.

BREAKING OVERNIGHT: Online bookies have blown out the odds of an LNP victory on May 3 following reports that Barnaby Joyce has broken free from secured premises in Tamworth in his New England electorate and has been hitting the footpaths in a swag of marginal seats

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