Washington, US: In yet another case of a sad and unforgiveable embryo mix-up at an IVF clinic, a young mother in the nation’s capital has given birth to a son who she is fairly confident is not her biological child.

“It was the total lack of hair that first raised my suspicions,” the mother sobbed. “Everyone in my family, both sexes in fact, have been blessed with glorious boufants from birth until they’ve passed. There has never, ever, been cases of balding going way back in my family tree. Only the hair colour may have changed from time to time.

“But now that he’s starting to talk, he sure is coming out with a lot of shit so maybe I’m not so sure.”

Poll blow for Taylor

Sydney: Shadow Treasurer Angus Taylor will miss several crucial days of campaigning as he recovers slowly in hospital from acute shock after a seemingly innocent prank by his senior advisers went horribly wrong late yesterday.

Jus for a laugh, as Taylor was on the campaign trail, his staffers sent him a text saying that on his behalf, they had eagerly accepted a challenge for him to debate Jim Chalmers once a week over the next three weeks, on the ABC with Laura Tingle as moderator.

Bystanders reported that Taylor threw his mobile phone away, screamed “No!” over and over again and shouted Ross Greenwood’s name once before collapsing unconscious to the ground.

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No more lies from Dutton

Perth: Opposition Leader Peter Dutton is unlikely to spread any more lies for the remaining three weeks of the federal election campaign after a shocking overnight shaving accident at his motel here.

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