The column that has fun with the smaller mistakes and missteps of Australia’s mainstream mediocre; that pays homage to those sweet little fishes that individually don’t amount to a full meal but collectively can cause a tummy upset over the overall state of the once great and noble craft of journalism in this country.

Perhaps the bitter, washed-up, old hacks who compile this column haven’t kept up with news of Queensland’s Fitzroy River – or indeed the effects of climate change – but they were shocked the other day to hear on the news that the river that runs through Rockhampton was “crocodile infested.”

Sure, they were aware that crocs have occasionally been spotted in the river but as one of our compilers admitted: “In my younger days after finishing a shift at the Bullie and we were thrown out of the Criterion on closing time, we thought nothing of getting our kit off and plunging into the river!”

“Now it sounds like you can walk across to the north bank on the backs of these bastards!”

Nine News Queensland and ABC’s 7pm state bulletin may have avoided infesting the Fitzroy but were happy to flash up some file footage (at left and middle, above) to emphasis a possible problem that come back to bite those who decided Rockhampton’s river would host the Olympics rowing in 2032.

The image (at right, above) is from The Bug‘s own image files. Yes, we’re taking the piss a bit; we suspect with no proof whatsoever that the other crocs shown are far, far, away from the Fitzroy. If the Nine image is accurate, there’s some serious erosion going on in that waterway!

Now, we’re not sure that the Rockhampton mayor was referring to to – the risk of crocodiles or the suitability of the venue for the rowing – but agree wholeheartedly with her comment: “What a load of croc!”

***

Picky, picky, we know, but shouldn’t that be “more” below? The use of more between two things used to be the way to go for journos trained to use English proper-like.

We know we do bang on about the underuse, overuse and misuse of “alleged” and “allegedly” but below is a case where “over alleged” should have been changed to “with the”. It’s not rocket surgery now, is it?

Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!

Follow The Bug Online on WordPress.com