BRISBANE: Efforts by Peter Dutton to emulate his political hero, former long-term Liberal Party prime minister John Howard (below), have come unstuck on just the second day of the federal election campaign.

Reporters covering the Liberal campaign were advised of a photo opportunity this morning and captured the moment when the Opposition Leader’s strategy to cast himself as heir to the Howard political crown fell into disarray.

Reporters were told that Mr Dutton would go for a morning power walk dressed in a Howard-style green-and-gold Australian Olympic tracksuit.

However, as a Liberal Party source later explained, Mr Dutton had been badly briefed and instead of walking in a fast and determined manner as John Howard did, he stopped to awkwardly perform several break dance moves on the footpath. (main picture)

“I understand that a very youthful campaign staffer who was probably in Year 3 at school when John Howard was still PM was put in charge of organising the media stunt,” the source said.

“He apparently hadn’t ever heard of Howard so he Googled ‘green-and-gold tracksuit’ and, well, do I need to go on? I’d score the whole sorry event with straight zeroes,” the source said.

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WASHINGTON, DC: President Donald Trump has welcomed a direct report from Greenland filed by his Vice-President JD Vance who is on a visit there to urge its takeover by the United States.

Mr Vance inspected an area in and around a US defence base in Greenland as shown in a photo published by The New York Times (below).

He then rang Mr Trump to give him a first-hand report.

“Mr President, I can report that I’ve been very surprised about Greenland,” Mr Vance said. “What’s really shocked me is that this country isn’t green at all. It’s totally white.”

Mr Trump replied: “Fantastic. Just how I like ’em.”

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NEW YORK: A major US law firm targeted for retribution by US President Donald Trump says it is not concerned about his demand for pro bono legal advice worth $100 million.

Mr Trump has already settled a dispute with law firm Paul,Weiss in which he accepted $40 million in free legal advice for the US government in exchange for rescinding an executive order blocking the firm’s lawyers from government contracts, withdrawing their security clearances, and blocking them from entering federal buildings.

The executive order was originally signed by the President because a partner in Paul,Weiss had been a key player in a 2021 investigation against Mr Trump based on alleged overstated property values.

Another major law firm, Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom, has also reached an agreement to provide $100 million in free advice to avoid an executive order.

A spokesperson said the firm saw no problem with the settlement.

“The $100 million worth of work won’t take us long to do,” the spokesperson said. “At the rates we charge I’d say we’ll burn through it in about five days. Maybe a week, tops.”

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