MILITARY MIGHT:

The Gaza Strip’s Hamas fighters have been declared the most effective military force per capita in world history by the highly respected World Army Ratings organisation based in The Hague in the Netherlands.

“Given their meagre numbers and being totally out-resourced in every conceivable aspect of military conflict, from hand-held weapons to tanks to the key issue of air supremacy, their defence of Gaza in the past 18 months has been just about unbelievable”, said a spokesperson at the WAR office, the world’s conflict watchdog and compiler of countries’ military stocks and assessments of their preparedness for such conflict.

“Just think about it for a moment. When Israel began razing Gaza after the October 2023 Hamas incursions into Israel, that ragtag army was said to number some 20,000 troops.

“And yet, despite the entire Gaza strip being reduced to rubble since and their tunnels destroyed, there are still so many of them on active duty that Israel just the other night managed to kill more than 400 members of that prescribed terrorist organisation, from seasoned veterans to babies still undergoing basic training.

“In just one night! Over a 40th of Hamas’ military numbers at the start of Israel’s genocide in Gaza taken out!

“And, yet, with nowhere to hide and nowhere to run and with only hand-held weapons and clapped-out Toyota utes that have now run out of gas so they’ve had to use donkey-led carts, Hamas fights on!

“Some of the great armies in world history have performed very palely by comparison. Attila the Hun. Genghis Khan. Craig Reucassel’s War on Waste.

“And if it can be very well argued that Hamas is the most effective fighting force in history for its size, the perfect corollary of that is that Israel’s defence forces must easily be the worse ever despite being one of the world’s largest and with an inexhaustible supply of weapons.

WAR also singled out the United States for mention, seeing that country has supplied all if not most of the 100,000 tonnes of bombs dropped on Gaza over the last year-and-a-half.

“That’s more bombs than were dropped in the whole of World War 2 or sold in used-car yards around Australia last calendar year and yet Hamas fights bravely on!” the WAR spokesperson (pictured) added.

“What a pathetic, ineffectual display of so-called military might by supposedly the world’s greatest military power.

“Excuse the French but 100,000 fucking tonnes dropped on a patch of earth about the size of Canberra or one-and-a-half Stradbroke Islands and the job’s not done? Work can’t even begin yet on turning Gaza into the Riviera of the East; the Jew’l in the Crown or Trumptopia!

“Hitler’s V2 bombs and Saddam Hussain’s SCUD rockets looked state-of-the-art and very deadly in comparison.”

Australia’s Foreign Minister Penny Wong also got a WAR gong.

“We salute her comment that the Israel/Gaza war was a long, long, way away, making it just about impossible for her to recognise the year-long genocide that’s just resumed there.”

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