And probably never will!

Boy, oh boy! Do the old, bitter, washed-up hacks that compile this column have egg all over their faces!

Over the last week or so, they truly believed they had finally convinced sub-editors at The Sydney Morning Herald – it’s only taken some years! – that they should never, ever, call page 3 of any edition the FRONT PAGE!

Admittedly the evidence was rather flimsy and maybe we were drowning old hacks grabbing at flimsy straws. Since our most recent pisstake (link at bottom) of the SMH subs’ stupidity, we only had the one example of an SMH wraparound back last Monday. But for reasons we’ll never understand, apart from the fact that there’s never any consistency on how to number pages and that clearly confuses those subs mightily, is that the fake inside cover was folioed as page one. And bless their cotton socks, at least one sub managed to record stories that flowed from page 1 as page 1! Pretty professional, eh?

But on their subbing shift on Wednesday night, they fucked up Thursday’s edition mightily.

The one below, that shows the fake pretend front page that someone in authority called page 3.

And yep, those lazy, unprofessional subs (maybe just the one if the SMH only has one sub) have called two stories originating on that page 3 as being continued from …. yes, you BUGgers won’t be surprised … From Front Page!

Will the MGH ever tire of taking the piss out of these bone-lazy and unprofessional subs who plop their arses down for a shift and can’t even be bothered checking how the next morning’s edition will be folioed? We already have! Not that that’s going to deter us.

STOP PRESS! Today’s (Saturday’s) edition of the SMH had only one story from page 3 continued inside the book. And guess where the sub said the story came from? PAGE 3! Hallelujah! Maybe there’s still some remnants of professionalism left in the once great craft of journalism after all! We’ll send that sub a cigar but he or she won’t be allowed to puff on it until they get that right two more times in a row!

As promised above, here’s the last MGH pisstake of the last time those subs fucked up in exactly the same way. All the logical arguments we have presented now for a very long time – the main one being that the page 3 of any newspaper should NEVER, EVER (sorry for the Trump caps for emphasis) be called the front page or the cover page – remain in place. We deeply suspect our campaign might never end.

Time to finally lift sub standards?

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