Can I make this a public plea to LNP publicist Kylie Lang who works up at the Bowen Hill’s LNP branch?

Kylie, I don’t give a flying fuck what you call yourself …. as long as it’s not a journalist.

I’m rightfully worried you might give yourself that moniker seeing you also moonlight as an associate editor at The Courier-Mail.

But that would be dreadfully insulting to me, personally, as a scribe for roughly around a half-century and it would almost make me ashamed of the six years I spent at The Courier-Mail before they asked me to leave. Insulting, also, to just about any scribe I ever worked beside.

So, why today’s heartfelt plea? You’ve written some dreadful shit over time, Kylie, but perhaps none worse than your recent column belittling Anthony Albanese.

As a brief aside, I hear that childish, turgid, vacuous, propaganda piece has you well in the running for The Bug’s Media Glass House Arse-Licker for March award. Congrats.

But back to that column (at top and below). What a putrid pile of risible right-wing rubbish. Such stinging sarcasm aimed squarely at our PM. And all without a skerrick of fairness or logic.

At the risk of losing my reader, here it is.

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has arrived in Brisbane. Gee, I feel so much better now, don’t you?

Never mind that Queensland has run out of sandbags, supermarket shelves are stripped bare, power banks are hotter than toilet paper, and our homes are bracing for damage.

Forget that our pets are distressed, our schools are set to close and we’re being warned to stay inside and off the roads from tomorrow.

Despite Tropical Cyclone Alfred barrelling towards us, Albo is here. Relax.

Politicians are known for grandstanding during natural disasters – former PM Scott Morrison being a famous exception when he holidayed in Hawaii during the 2019 bushfires – but Mr Albanese’s presence in Queensland right now is a hindrance.

Last night he met with Premier David Crisafulli and he is holding several meetings today – with the very people charged with keeping our state safe and doing everything they can to minimise the impacts of Alfred.

This morning he visited the State Disaster Coordination Centre, accompanied by Federal Sports Minister Anika Wells.

We need the people who know what they’re doing to focus on doing it – and not be dragged away to entertain politicians.

As our state braces for the worst, Mr Albanese’s visit amounts to a shameless grab for votes ahead of the looming federal election Labor looks set to lose.

Queenslanders aren’t stupid. This Albo and Alfred show is just a nuisance.

Me again. What turgid tosh! It’s a shit column, Kylie so let me get straight to the shitty bottom line. If Morrison had won the 2022 election; were it he in Queensland offering federal help, this column’s focus would not have even entered that risible, right-wing brain of yours. If written at all, it would have praised Morrison for his presence and political leadership. How he knew his place and didn’t impede the work of emergency crews. Deny that if you want; we all need a good laugh right now.

Let me conclude with some real journos I have enormous respect for – scribes who worked in the building that houses that shitrag you call a newspaper.

Let’s start with these two on X.

On his Facebook page, sports journo legend, Barry Dick who spent the best part of a century at The Courier-Mail and is a Lang Park Media Hall of Famer, had this to spray.

Then there was Gary Fites, another former Courier colleague of just about everyone who works at The Bug.

I’ll stay very proud of the fact that all their responses to your senseless, stupid, sledge based on arguments that kids in a school debate would wisely avoid using, are much the same as mine here.

All of us were real mainstream media journalists and proudly so. You, Kylie, are an LNP publicist who should hang your head in shame. But you probably won’t have time to do that as you race off to prepare pro-Dutton, pro-LNP non-journalistic propaganda for the looming federal poll. Shit that will make the Courier’s once-reasonable reputation smell even worse than it does now.

Don Gordon-Brown

PS: Is it true, Kylie, that you are absolutely livid that the subs spiked a later column of yours ripping into Peter Dutton for being at that Sydney Liberal fundraiser last Tuesday when he should have been in his electorate looking after the welfare of citizens rightly worried as Cyclone Alfred looked set to pass right over their heads a few days later? And that you were also terribly miffed that another column with a “Where’s the PM?” theme – one that ripped into Albanese with all the huff and puff of Alfred for staying away – had to be deleted when the bastard actually turned up and did his job alongside Premier Crisafulli, whom I suspect you feel is doing a spiffingly splendid job? Is all that true, Kyles? Let us know.

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