The column that has fun with the smaller mistakes and missteps of Australia’s mainstream mediocre; that pays homage to those sweet little fishes that individually don’t amount to a full meal but collectively can cause a tummy upset over the overall state of the once great and noble craft of journalism in this country.

The washed-up, bitter, old hacks who compile this column often rely on contributions from not-so-bitter and not-so-old and not-so-hacky former workmates and colleagues to lowlight current journalism standards in Oz.

So let’s kicked off with what we think is the funniest little mistake of recent times, provided by highly respected former electronic media journalist Dean Felton from Melbourne (at top and below).

Now, BUGgers, that is indeed worth a hearty chuckle. What a brilliant method actor Hackman must have been to convince us that he’d stayed alive so long after he died! Or was he brilliantly playing dead all along?

Another contribution lobbed recently from arguably one of the three finest journalists to have ever covered courts anywhere in Australia if not the world! And it was one so, so, perfect for our ongoing pisstake of the misuse, overuse and underuse of the words alleged and allegedly.

Our dear friend and former colleague Lex Swayn (at left, above) added a very relevant “Sigh” to his contribution that the ABC had reported that someone was facing alleged charges! Lex, we’ll add our own “SOB” to your despair. The misuse of alleged doesn’t get more egregious than that.

Here’s one of our own, also from Aunty recently.

We at MB would argue that it’s probably 99.999999 per cent certain that Toyah was tragically killed on that beach. Her car was parked there, it’s not disputed she was there to walk her dog. And we can all be 100 per cent certain that she was killed; that she didn’t tie her dog up in nearby scrub and then cut her own throat before completely burying herself in the sand.

What are we clearly trying to say here, BUGgers? Leaving out “allegedly” does not harm the prospects for the alleged murderer of Toyah to get a fair trial. It wasn’t needed. That poor young woman was tragically killed. A jury will decide if someone murdered her.

Okay, here’s one hot off the presses!

Hot off the presses of The Sun-Herald overnight, in fact.

Pupils at all those schools in the north of NSW must be absolutely chuffed that they don’t have to attend schools today … Sunday. The error is still on the paper’s website as this column nears uploading.

SIGH! SOB!

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