WASHINGTON, DC: Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenksyy says he felt uneasy as soon as he entered the White House for his fiery Oval Office meeting with US President Donald Trump and Vice-President JD Vance. (main picture)

Speaking to reporters after storming out of the White House, Zelenksyy said the meeting got off to a shaky start.

“I thought it unusual when President Trump greeted me at the front steps of the White House that he told me, and I quote, ‘We’re Putin on lunch after our meeting if you want it’,” he said.

“Then as we walked to the front door the President pointed behind us and said ‘Boy, I just love those steppes, don’t you?’

“I didn’t at the time know what he was trying to do but as we walked to the Oval Office things became a little clearer.

“He ran through what was on the menu for lunch – bliny, kasha, and borscht washed down with vodka.

“I understood President Trump is a teetotaller so I felt that was a bit odd.

“Then in the Oval Office JD Vance was running late for our meeting and finally entered the room in an unusual way – by Cossack dancing.

“Then both he and the President insisted on speaking Russian which I didn’t even know they could.

“It turns out they don’t speak it at all. They just affected fake accents that sounded like Boris from the old Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoons and rolled their Rs a lot.”

Zelenksyy said he “snapped” when Trump took a revolver handed to him by JD Vance and suggested they all play Russian roulette but insisted that the Ukrainian President go first.

“I told them I’d definitely go – as in leave the meeting – which I then did,” he said.

“It was all very odd but I hope I can return soon and try again to strike an agreement to bring peace and guarantee my country’s security.”

Zelenksyy confirmed that after the Oval Office broke up President Trump had called him on his mobile phone to suggest such a follow-up meeting.

“I will consider it, but to be honest I couldn’t quite hear all that he was saying because the balalaika that JD Vance was apparently playing in the background was rather loud,” he said.

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