Mining, business, and political heavyweight Clive Palmer has been forced to swiftly establish his own political party after his latest adopted vehicle, Trumpet Of Patriots, suddenly withdrew its support for him.

Just last week Palmer announced he would run candidates under the Trumpet of Patriots banner (below) at the upcoming federal election after his United Australia Party (UAP) was deregistered for the 2025 federal election by the Australian Electoral Commission.

But he has now established his own party, Oboe of the Obese, after Trumpet of Patriots withdrew its support at the weekend.

A Trumpet of Patriots spokesperson said the decision to sever ties with Palmer so soon after he joined the party was relatively easy.

“We’re a right-wing party, for sure. We mimic a lot of what Donald Trump and the MAGA movement are doing in the USA,” the spokesperson said.

“But we are also pretty broadminded. For instance we have several members who firmly believe the earth is round while some other members don’t always wear tinfoil hats.

“But we’re not idiots. We don’t believe Clive’s candidate in Hunter, Suellen Wrightson, is the next Prime Minister of Australia.

“That’s a bridge too far for us. Just ask Craig Kelly. (below) I understand Craig’s still in a bitter and expensive legal fight with COMCAR after trying to flog his C-1 car rego plates on Gumtree.

“So Clive had to go. After all, we have our own credibility to protect,” the spokesperson said.

(Note to subs: Please check if “heavyweight” in the lead paragraph might reflect negatively or offensively on Palmer’s physical appearance. If it does, then let it run because we do want to suggest he’s a rich fat bastard. If it doesn’t seem offensive, perhaps directly substitute “rich fat bastard”?)    

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