MEDIA NEWS:
Prominent Righter for the national broadshit The Australian, Gerard Henderson, remains in hospital after being injured at work earlier this week. (main picture)
The Bug understands Henderson was rushed by ambulance to St Vincent’s Hospital from News Crap Australia’s Holt Street headquarters at Surry Hills in inner-Sydney where he had been involved in a verbal brawl with a colleague that escalated to a physical confrontation.
“The trouble started when Gerard read an item by The Daily Telegraph’s veteran rugby league writer, Phil Rothfield, which The Oz ran online (below) revealing that Network Nine will not be sending a commentary team to the NRL’s demonstration games in Las Vegas next month,” a source in The Australian newsroom said on condition of anonymity.

“Phil’s story showed that instead of being in Las Vegas, Nine’s commentary team will be in Sydney watching and calling all the action remotely.
“In his yarn, Phil said that the ABC would also keep its commentators at home instead of flying them to Vegas.”
Rothfield’s item included comments from an ABC spokesperson who explained: “Remote commentary is a practice increasingly adopted by broadcasters globally, across every code of sport. Advances in broadcasting technology allow us to maintain the immediacy and quality our listeners expect, while ensuring we remain vigilant with public resources.”
The source said it was seconds after the item went online that Henderson read it and was heard at his desk breathing slowly but deeply through his nose and repeatedly muttering “The ABC is mine. All mine”.
Henderson then stormed across the newsroom to confront Rothfield, asking him why he had “dared to encroach” on Henderson’s editorial territory and why he had missed a chance to pillory the ABC.
“Phil obviously, and legitimately, felt under physical threat because Gerard had carried with him the typewriter he uses for all his stories – a 1940s upright Remington that has a £ sign key but not a $ key and is missing the A, B, and C keys because of overuse,” the source said.
At that point Henderson had yelled at Rothfield: “It’s my ABC. I get to destroy it, just like Rupert and Lachlan want.”
Rothfield had tried to defend himself, asserting that he had fulfilled his compulsory voluntary editorial responsibility laid down by News Crap Australia which required a mention of the ABC in any news story wherever possible.
Henderson had hit back with: “Yes, but they want a negative mention, you dill. You didn’t attack the ABC hard enough, if at all. You let the ABC explain its position. Why even contact the ABC? Just bag it like I do. Worst of all you let it suggest it was saving taxpayers’ money.”
The source said at that point Henderson threw the heavy Remington at Rothfield, which missed widely but scattered carbon paper everywhere, and Henderson then lunged forward.
“Phil, being a league expert, knows more than enough to defend himself. He dodged Gerard’s pathetic attempted tackle, grabbed him around the waist, lifted him sky high, and speared him into the hard newsroom floor.
“This brought an initial cheer from others in the newsroom, but when Gerard didn’t move for a few minutes things went quiet and an ambulance was called.
“Luckily he’s doing okay and in some good news for Phil, doctors say the spear tackle is likely to have given Gerard amnesia,” the source said.

Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!
Follow The Bug Online on WordPress.com

