… as ‘patriot’ Palmer loses the plot

If it’s true that a fool and his money are soon parted, how come Clive Palmer isn’t stone motherless fucking broke?

A fair question, surely, following the announcement that Palmer’s new political party is called Trumpet of Patriots, an unashamed, freely admitted, plea for Australians at the looming federal poll to vote for Donald Trump-style politics Down Under.

Stop laughing, you BUGgers out there. This is serious, right? Far right.

On their new website, Trumpet of Patriots chairman Palmer openly calls on Donald Trump’s style of politics to be introduced here. Palmer, the true Aussie patriot when no-one in Labor, the LNP, the Greens and the Teals clearly aren’t, plans to “clean the swamp” – sound familiar? – and make Australia great – again, sound familiar? – through a political party that cares “about true democracy, individual freedoms, free speech, and less government intervention in our lives”.

Palmer clearly is enamoured of Trump’s “drill, baby, drill” and fuck the environment; fuck climate change beliefs that the Chubby Coalster clearly sees as the right path to less government interference in our lives.

For mine, anyone who thinks Trump is good for America would have rated Ivan Milat as an excellent national park tourist guide.

Palmer hopes to gobble up Pauline Hanson’s One Nation voters with this far-right-wing push and my guess is that, presuming he had already garnered some HofR and Senate candidates for his now High-Court-rejected attempt to re-register United Australia Party, he will once again spend $100 million plus to defeat the Albanese Labor government and smother the Australian streetscape and media with yellow Trumpet of Patriots billboards and ads.

At the election in 2022, Palmer spent some $120 million and managed to elect just the one UAP candidate, the Victorian senator Ralph Babet, who was either born with just enough brain cells to support life or spent too much of his adult life wearing a too-tight tin-foil hat as he absorbed conspiracy theories too many to number.

And now this – Trumpet of Patriots. What a fucking moron Palmer is. He thinks a fair swag of voters hurt by cost-of-living pressures or any other grievance against any government will rush to his belief that Trump politics have a place in Australian life.

Trump! The convicted felon, adjudged rapist, braggart, bully, draft dodger, failed businessman and compulsive liar who has now embarked on a trade war with the world (well, except Russia) and is so far up Vladimir Putin’s arse that only his shoes are visible.

Trump! The man who largely won a narrow victory by obscene racist and misogynistic taunts, aided and abetted by constantly telling the American people that any Democrat victory would be rigged and would lead to a civil war. Disgusting. But not to Palmer.

Trump: the buffoon who overnight has blamed the Ukrainian president for starting the war against Russia and who is a dictator, unlike Trump’s bestie Putin. And that Russia should keep the bits of Ukraine it has invaded, given how many troops it’s lost! Boy, those golden-shower shots of Trump in Vlad’s hands must be absolute doozies. Right, Ned?

And presumably this stand-alone Australian patriot Palmer – a man who could afford immediate private-sector surgery to have his sense of logic, fairness and decency upgraded to almost human levels – wants Australia to have America’s healthcare system, where countless Yanks are bankrupted every year by the bills incurred when a major health issue arises.

My best guess is that Pauline Hanson is not going to roll over and see her own shrinking band of moronic supporters calved off as they heed Palmer’s bugle call for a Trumpish Oz.

I reckon Aunty Pauline, Australia’s white indigenous leader, has come to realise, given she herself just scrapped back into the Senate last time, that the racist One Nation tag has outlived its usefulness as a #whitelivesmattertoo clarion call to a base even dumber than she is, if that’s humanly possible.

I’m predicting she will out-right and outfight Palmer by renaming her party Pauline Hanson’s AAA – that’s short for Adolf’s Aussie Angels. Sounds rather patriotic itself, does it not? Triple A!

Aunty Pauline will argue that Hitler’s legacy has been treated rather unfairly in the decades since World War 2 and that he did some really good things for the German people. Or as Trump would argue: there were good people on both sides in WW2.

Far too silly and unbelievable to ever happen? Did anyone really think Clive Palmer could dream up Trumpet of Patriots as a party moniker and a political message that decent, intelligent, Aussies are going to embrace?

Ooh, just realised I’ve maybe over-egged the number of decent, intelligent, Aussies out there. Maybe Palmer is onto something? When we have an American President declaring that anything he does that he thinks is right is lawful, we do indeed live in frightening and absurd times.

Don Gordon-Brown

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