WASHINGTON DC: President Donald Trump is planning to expand his cabinet with the creation of a new and previously unheralded position with a roving brief in the field of US foreign relations with Third World nations.
A senior source within the US State Department confirmed that a new position of Secretary of State for Shithole Nations would be created by executive order with a presidential nominee to be confirmed through the usual Congressional process.
The source said the extra position was suggested by the new Secretary of State Marco Rubio himself after he and US diplomatic officials became frustrated at President Trump’s lack of knowledge of Third World countries.
“Quite frankly the 47th President is the most unaware and the most ignorant we’ve had in the field of foreign affairs since the 45th, probably more so if that’s even possible,” the source said on condition of anonymity.
“Anyone who regularly briefs the President on Third World issues has become very accustomed to his habit of verbally inserting an extra ‘g’ in both Niger and Nigeria and confusing the two nations.
“He also has tremendous trouble distinguishing between Gaza and the west African nation of Ghana.
“In addition he mispronounces Ghana as Ghania but, even worse, he then insists it’s where most of the world’s shampoo is mined.
“And don’t get me started on the day a few of us briefed him and mentioned Guinea, Guinea Bissau, and Papua New Guinea.”
The State Department source said President Trump even had difficulty distinguishing between Iraq and Iran.
“His own solution was for the State Department briefings to lump them together and call them IR-land but that in itself creates obvious problems for our relations with the government in Dublin.
“I think Secretary Rubio’s solution of a new Secretary of State for Shithole Nations will provide the answer because the new appointee can take the flak and spend – or waste – his or her time doing the briefings.”
The source said the State Department was now working hard to ensure President Trump nominated someone suitable to the new position.
At present, the source said, the President was considering either Hulk Hogan or Sylvester Stallone as “someone who can knock those shitholes into shape”.
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