Gaza to become USA’s 51st state!

US President Donald Trump has pledged to rebuild the entire Gaza Strip “for free, gratis” if it becomes a state of the US.

“Have you seen the place?” the president told reporters on Air Force One overnight. “It’s a demolition site.

“Have you seen the places these local Palestinians call their homes? They’ve got no house pride at all; any pride at all when you really think about it. No power. No water. No sewerage. We are talking about really primitive people here.

“It’s why I’m once again calling on Egypt, Jordan and other Arab countries to take the remaining 1.5 million Gazinians (sic) as soon as possible so reconstruction of Trumpland as the United States’ 51st state can be fast tracked.

“A quick redevelopment means a faster buck can be made which is why the place has to be completely devoid of human life, or Terra Anniliationus to use the fancy Latino (sic) legal term.

Trump explained why no money would change hands with his “uge and attractive offer”.

“No body in their right mind would pay one red cent for it and I certainly won’t be.

“Firstly there will be soon be no-one there to oppose what I believe will be the deal of the 21st century but more importantly it’s going to take years and billions of dollars just for me and my sons to clear the rubble and the tens of thousands of bodies of Hamas terrorist sympathisers buried underneath those hovels the Palestinians called homes.

“Now I know that my good friend Bibi (Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu) also was interested in actually paying money for the joint but I soon put the kibbutz (sic) on that and he backed out quickly when I asked if he wanted to continue getting as many US bombs as he needs to keep Israel safe on so any other fronts and to continue to live in peace.

“It’s called the art of the deal, folks, and no-one in the world is better at doing business than I am.

“And no-one in the world knows more about property development than I do – that’s the simple fact – so what’s going to take place in Trumpland is going to be uge (sic); it really is. It’s already a beautiful place and I’m going to make it even more so.

“I also clinched the deal by explaining to Bibi that my United-States policy was not much different from his own, often-stated, one-state policy. He’ll still end up with the white (sic) people as neighbours.”

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