MEDIA NEWS:

The far right-wing News Crap Australia recently ran full-page image-building advertisements in its far right-wing metro daily turdbloids to encourage more people to subscribe to the far-right wing Murdoch media publications.

Just prior to their publication, in-house lawyers sought an online meeting to discuss their concerns about the ads with far right-wing Rupert Murdoch.

The Bug has obtained a transcript of the discussion between the Sydney-based lawyers and Murdoch who spoke at them from his New York penthouse.

LAWYERS #1 & #2: Good morning Mr Murdoch, sir.

Rupert Murdoch: Enough of the “Mister Murdoch”. Sir will suffice.

LAWYERS #1 & #2: Yes, sir.

RM: As you know I stepped down as co-chair of News Crap Australia where I took a deep personal interest in the editorial content and direction of all of our media assets. Since leaving that position I now spend most of my time in retirement taking a deep personal interest in the editorial content and direction of all of our media assets.

LAWYERS #1 & #2: Yes, sir.

RM: I have been told that you have some concerns about the full-page ads we plan to run in our Australian turdbloids seeking new subscribers.

LAWYERS #1 & #2: Yes, sir.

RM: Well, I think it’s important that we sort out any concerns.

LAWYERS #1 & #2: Yes, sir.

RM: Well, what’s the problem?

LAWYER #1: Let’s start with the ad that says: “We do let facts get in the way of a good story.”

RM: Okay.

LAWYER#1: We appreciate that it’s meant to suggest that the turdbloids produced by News Crap Australia contain nothing but the facts.

RM: Indeed.

LAWYER#1: It goes on to say that facts “get in the way of wild theories, sensational headlines, and stories that are just too good to be true”.

RM: So?

LAWYER#1: Well, have you read anything, or should I say, just about everything on news.com.au?

RM: Hmmm.

LAWYER#2: Then there’s the line: “Real journalism isn’t about chasing clicks or stirring outrage”.

RM: We’re safe on that one.

LAWYER#2: How so?

RM: Well, it’s a statement in principle about journalism, not necessarily about our journalism so it’s not misleading.

(The lawyers confer with each other.)

LAWYERS #1 & #2: Okay. We can live with that, provided nobody remembers that News Crap is also responsible for Sky News and The Australian.

LAWYER#1: But then there’s this line about the output of News Crap and its turdbloids: “Stories with every fact checked, every claim questioned.”

RM: And…?

LAWYER#1: Nobody at News Crap turdbloids ever questions the claims made by, say, every Sky “after dark” commentator.

RM: That’s beside the point. When it says “every claim questioned” it’s clearly referring to every claim made by Anthony Albanese or anyone in his government.

(The lawyers confer with each other.)

LAWYER#2: We might loop back to that one.

LAWYER#1: In the meantime we’re also concerned that the other ad (below) also suggests that News Crap has a dedication to high journalistic standards, the facts, and suggests that the standard of journalism practised at your outlets can be trusted to deliver the truth.

RM: Yeah. What’s your quibble with that?

LAWYER#1: Can we just throw a few recent incidents at you? Starting with the Fox News defamation settlement with the Dominion voting machine company over the repeated and knowingly wrong claims of vote rigging in the 2020 US presidential election.

LAWYER#2: The yet to begin defamation case brought by the Smartmatic voting machine company for the stories Fox News repeatedly ran about vote rigging in 2020 knowing full well they were baseless.

LAWYER#1: The apology and settlement in the UK courts with Prince Harry and former Labour Party MP Lord Watson over the gutter tactics employed by News Crap outlets in the UK to get stories.

RM: Okay, thanks for your input.

LAWYERS #1 & #2: So you’ve decided not to run the ads?

RM: No, no. As usual I’ll leave that to my editors, all of whom I’ll direct to take their own independent decision to run the ads as designed.

LAWYERS #1 & #2: Oh. So you don’t want to loop back to the ….

RM: No, no. That’s all. You can leave. Just pack your things.

LAWYERS #1 & #2: Well, we actually don’t have anything here to pack. We only brought along the copies of each ad.

RM: That’s not what I meant.

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