AUSTRALIA DAY:

Opposition Leader Peter Dutton (main picture) has encouraged Australians to “spend up big” on Australia Day merchandise.

“Tomorrow is our national day – a day of celebration – so its only white that Australians show how much they love their country by displaying as many plastic Australian flags as possible and wearing as much flag-branded clothing as possible,” Mr Dutton said.

“Thankfully this year big supermarkets like Woolworths have dropped their woke, lefty opposition to stocking Australia Day items, (below) so everyone can join in the celebrations tomorrow.

“There’s no excuse. I was able to buy dozens of plastic Aussie flags which unfortunately came loose from their sticks very quickly, Aussie-flag bunting which I couldn’t hang up because the end ties fell off, bumper stickers that unfortunately didn’t actually stick, table cloths for tomorrow’s barbie that have sadly already ripped like tissue paper, and a pair of Aussie flag thongs which unfortunately broke as soon as I tried walking in them.

“Nevertheless, I urge all genuine Aussies to do the white thing and reject the woke, bleeding heart, black-armband naysayers and celebrate Australia Day by buying as much flag-branded tat as possible.

“To do anything else would be simply un-Australian not to mention anti-Semitic,” he said.

Mr Dutton went on to attack the Albanese Government’s trade and environmental policies.

“The prime minister has failed to redress the trade imbalance we have with China,” he said.

“China sends us so many cheap and nasty products that we really don’t need, at highly inflated prices, and which usually don’t stand up to everyday use. It must end.

“The Albanese Government has also failed to address the massive streams of plastic and micro-plastic waste that pollute our environment, largely from cheap plastic imported goods that we can usually do without and which have a very limited life and are then discarded.

“This is economic and environmental vandalism at its worst,” Mr Dutton said. “Did I also mention it was anti-Semitic?”

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