The Bug’s sex expert responds to a reader on a very topical and political problem.
Dear Doctor Dick,
By the time you read this Donald Trump will have been inaugurated as the 47th President of the United States of America.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t like making sweeping generalisations about politics, least of all about another nation’s political choices where the issues and even the system for choosing who runs the country are very different to our own.
But I am worried that Trump will be far worse as 47th President than he was as the 45th.
He is an awful and appalling human being.
What can we do to ensure his second term is the last time we see anyone like him in the White House?
Worried
Wooloowin
Dr Dick replies:
Dear Worried of Wooloowin,
I share your concern and fear that now that US voters, for whatever reason, have rewarded such a malignant and selfish ignoramus by reinstalling him in the White House, he and his acolytes may see the opportunity to establish a far-right dynasty stretching generations into the future.
My answer is a very simple one. Castration. And I volunteer to do it although genital surgery is not my major area of study or expertise.
Yes, a damn good neutering may sound extreme, but so are the people we are dealing with.
Donals Trump may be almost 80 but he thinks he is irresistible to women, not necessarily his wife, so I say, cut off Trump’s balls so he can not breed any more of his kind.
We have seen how his sons Don Junior and … er, the other one, whathisname? .. are carbon copies of their vindictive old man. So they need to lose their gonads too.
Unfortunately even young Barron Trump will need to lose his nuts. The last thing the world needs is a seven-foot high Donald Trump III.
Elon Musk is high on the list to be neutered too.
I reckon JD Vance might even help hold Elon still while I remove his teslaticles.
The raft of Republican politicians who denounced Trump as a dangerously shallow right-wing narcissist when he first ran for President eight years ago, but then fawned all over him when he won and are now in the front row – literally – cheering him on, should also face the unkindest cut of all.
Human lizard Senator Ted Cruz of Texas should be castrated for the political somersault he has performed to support the man who not only insulted Mrs Cruz in the 2016 campaign but also made the bizarre claim that Cruz’s father was somehow involved in the JFK shooting in 1963.
That flabby-faced old crow and US Senate leader, Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky, is another who, although cool towards the Donald now, bent over backwards to do his bidding in Trump’s first term.
He may be 82 and in rapidly declining health, but he should still lose his balls.
These self-interested enablers also include Senator Lindsey Graham of South Carolina who has been an on-again, off-again fan of Trump’s.
He supposedly disavowed the former president when Trump tried to illegally seize power after losing the 2020 election.
But then he sniffed the wind and as Trump bounced back, so too did Graham’s sycophancy. So perhaps we should cut off his nose as well as his nuts.
Of course who could forget Rudy Giuliani. Just the mention of his name has me unwrapping a scalpel.
Only by stopping Trump and his ilk from breeding more Trumps and his ilk can we make the world safe for democracy again.
Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!
Follow The Bug Online on WordPress.com
The Bug Online 