WASHINGTON DC: Record numbers of orders have begun pouring in for copies of the MAGA hat designed and worn by new First Lady, Melania Trump, at her husband’s inauguration. (main picture)

Taking a leaf from her husband’s playbook, Mrs Trump has launched her own range of women’s headwear.

At today’s inauguration ceremony in Washington DC, Mrs Trump gave the world a glimpse of her new hat range which she has branded MAGA –  Melania’s Anti-Grope Attire.

“Melania’s MAGA hat has been designed specifically for sale to women like her who are unfortunately shackled by marriage to bloated, fake-tanned, boorish slugs with appalling combovers,” said one US fashion expert who spoke on condition of anonymity since they had not received a pre-emptive pardon from outgoing President Joe Biden.

“The hat helps keep unwanted advances at bay and, as the world saw today, it works.

“In Trump’s first term, Melania employed other – more subtle – tactics to keep her distance from her husband, such as living in another state,” the observer said.

“But now she seems resigned to living at close quarters with her husband for the next four years and has found a novel and, I might say, very fashionable solution to at least one of her problems,” the observer said.

Thunberg put on suicide watch!

STOCKHOLM, Sweden: Environment activist Greta Thunberg has been placed on suicide watch after being hurt very badly by scathing criticism of her by arguably one of Australia’s foremost political analysts and observers.

“Greta is obviously shattered,” a Thunberg confidant told The Bug. “Despite her young age, she really had thought she had done some good over some years now warning the world of the perils of climate change.

“She now wonders if it’s worth carrying on after what’s been said about her.”

The unnamed associate was referring to comments by Sky LNPNews Australia host and faux journalist Rowan Dean who was reacting to news that “crackpot” Greta Thunberg had appeared at a pro-Palestine rally.

“All you kids out there who worshipped this crackpot, we’ve said on Outsiders from day one that she was a fraud,” said Mr Dean (pictured far right, below, in an old library photo that shows how Dean looks before makeup is applied for his Sky LNPNews hosting duties.)

“Look where our climate change queen has ended up now, hope she’s happy with herself.”

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Blast leaves Biden in tears!

WASHINGTON, DC: Any hopes by outgoing US president Joe Biden that his legacy after four years in office would be seen as largely a positive one have been shattered by scathing criticism of him by arguably one of Australia’s foremost political analysts and observers.

“President Biden is beside himself,” a top Democrat aide who asked not to be named told The Bug. “The silly old bugger really thought he had done some good on the country’s economic front and with certain societal issues.

“He now wonders if his time in office that he can still remember was worth anything at all after what’s been said about him.”

The aide was referring to comments by Sky LNPNews host and faux journalist James Morrow who used his TV hosting spot to say goodbye and “good riddance” to both Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris.

“Thanks for nothing. Goodbye Kamala, goodbye Joe, good riddance,” Morrow said.

The Biden insider added: “President Biden was still weeping openly as he left the Oval Office for the last time.

“He is very, very, hurt as you can imagine. There’s been a helluva lot of criticism of Joe Biden over his decades in public life that were like water off a duck’s back but Morrow’s comments have cut him to the quick, coming as they are from arguably one of Australia’s foremost political analysts and observers.”

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