ELECTION PROMISES:

The Bug’s financial advice and investment columnist Morrie Bezzle has taken the unusual step of endorsing Opposition Leader Peter Dutton’s new policy offering tax deductions for lunch expenses incurred by small business owners entertaining their clients and staff.

“I usually don’t reveal my political allegiances, but Big Pete’s idea of tax breaks for small business operators like me has got my vote, and I’m not afraid to say so publicly,” Mr Bezzle told reporters outside the Brisbane Magistrates’ Court this morning (below) where he was due to appear on charges relating to a telemarketing venture allegedly using the Californian wildfire crisis to peddle illegal asbestos wall cladding to elderly Australian home owners.

“This new policy shows there is such a thing as a free lunch, thanks to Peter Dutton,” he said, adding that the new policy was long overdue.

“Just the other day I was speaking to my old mate Christopher Skase ….,” Mr Bezzle said before stopping and pleading with reporters to change the reference to “an old business acquaintance”.

“Yeah, I was speaking to an old business acquaintance the other day and we were reminiscing about the long lunches we had back in the glory days of the 1980s.

“Me, Skasie …. I mean my now definitely long-deceased old business acquaintance …. and Alan Bond would often head out to lunch to transact a bit of business at a local gentlemen’s club. (main picture)

“By the end of lunch –  usually around two or three …. the next morning – we were ready to head home after entertaining our clients – namely, each other – and the personal assistants we had each hired by the hour and put on our staff, repeatedly.

“I recall Bondy bemoaning the fact that the squillions we spent weren’t tax deductible even though the beefsteaks, the booze, the baby oil, and the bum beads were all legit expenses.

“Back then that old spoilsport Paul Keating, who was then federal treasurer, had brought in the fringe benefits tax which killed off that sort of business-building activity stone cold.

“But thanks to Peter Dutton, happy days are here again!

“My only quibble is that the limit for deductions is only $20,000. At first I thought that was reasonable but then someone told me it’s 20K a year, not per lunch. So that probably needs a bit of work.”

Mr Bezzle said Mr Dutton was correct to cast his new policy as a means to deliver “red tape relief”.

“What else does the Australian Taxation Office do but tie visionary entrepreneurs like me up in red tape?” he said.

“If you want to eliminate red tape, eliminate the ATO. That’s what me and Bondy and Skasie always said.

“I also fully agree with Peter Dutton that any criticism of his policy is totally anti-Semitic,” Mr Bezzle said.

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